Brittle Crazy Glass

2011

2012-01-01T20:44:00.005-07:00

Wow, 2011 is over. Does anyone else remember the turn of the millennium like it was yesterday? Not to mention the 1990s? Wow.

While I was putting the Small Human to bed, I was reflecting a bit on 2011. Reflection time feels like a luxury to me these days, since when T is awake I'm chasing him down, and when he's asleep, I'm chasing down everything else that needs to get done. So, I did some reflecting, but only a little, and this is what I thought about.

In 2011, I didn't do all of the reading that I would have liked to have done. I have stacks of books that I finally resigned myself to not reading and moved them from my nightstand and coffee table to a bookshelf. I don't have a son who loves to be read to (he does, however, turn pages very proficiently and rapidly). I didn't read a chapter a day of Proverbs like I'd hoped. I didn't get in shape, even a tiny bit, despite a multitude of resources at my disposal. I didn't do the cool bike trail ride that I wanted to do with the family and, in fact, I only got Titus into our new bike trailer a few times. I failed miserably at tracking expenses and staying within budget. I often went to bed at night with a festering sink full of dirty dishes and was frustrated in the morning when my husband didn't do the dishes for me. I did manage to eliminate a few problem spots of long-term clutter, but it seems like 10 more have popped up in their place.

I did, however, learn to love being a mom. I've always hated being boxed in, but I learned to love the simple joy of a predictable routine, especially for a small one. I bought a pair of slippers so the constant crumbs on the floor wouldn't bother me so much. I delighted in watching Titus grow to love our dogs, whether he was feeding them Cheerios, grabbing at their leashes on a walk or just walking up and burying his head in their side. I am constantly amazed at how much I enjoy his smile, and I well up with gratitude that God has granted us the life circumstances to provide a child with love, stability, security and safety.

I did more sewing in 2011 than I had probably done since junior high, and I plan to do even more in 2012. I learned how to make a pretty decent latte, and I learned to work around my son's schedule and still have a social life by having friends over for coffee. I enjoyed growing deeper in several friendships, reconnecting in a few older friendships and even making new friends. One of my greatest weaknesses is relationships, and I am grateful that God gives me friends who don't give up on me, friends who teach me how to be a friend, and opportunities to be a friend to others. 2011 was a year in which God grew my heart for relationships, both within my family and without. I still have a long ways to go.

I explored gluten-free baking. I did read a couple of good books. I finally learned some of the strategy of the game of Scrabble and went from getting annihilated in "Words With Friends" to pretty much holding my own. I enjoyed the benefits of accountability and community in an inductive study of Romans ... and turned around and started right back in Romans 1 for an even more fruitful exploration of the book that will continue through May. I learned how to take some durn good portraits (if I do say so myself) of my little boy (until he got so busy that I can't catch many pictures of him in focus). I took a couple of steps of faith in terms of feeling nudges from God and following through. On a few occasions, I asked God to open my heart to ideas I opposed, and he responded by closing doors (to my relief).

I grew in a deeper appreciation of my own family and have immensely enjoyed watching my parents be grandparents. I grew in appreciation for my husband's family, both immediate and extended. I grew in appreciation for my husband as a relationship-maker-and-keeper -- especially on our spring road trip that began with my Grandpa Jack's funeral in Wyoming, where HH met many of my family for the first time and was well-liked by all, and carrying on to include stays in five different homes of friends and family and visits with many more. I grew in appreciation for taking the road-less-traveled, as we added hours-upon-hours to our travels on lesser-traveled highways that rewarded us with breathtaking scenery and tastes (both literal and metaphorical) of Americana.

We are now firmly entrenched in our habit of stopping at the Tasty Freeze in Big Timber on our way to the cabin (the number to order ahead is programmed into my phone, and I have the mile-marker figured out for when to make the call). Little T's first year of life brought him to Hawaii and Alaska, as well as Wyoming, Utah, Idaho and Oregon.

2011 was a good year for us. HH started working from home and after a few hiccups, we thrived being in such close contact (which has been true of our relationship since Day 1). 2012 will bring changes, some that we can anticipate, some that we can't. It may well turn out to be a challenging year. I should work on some goals -- books to read, disciplines to pursue, ways I'd like to grow as an individual, as a wife and mom, and as a member of my community. And then, no doubt, I'll fall short of many of those goals and hopefully find myself growing in unexpected places. I'll get to that eventually. In the meantime, I'm grateful that amidst my failings from 2011, God was merciful, God was kind, and we have much for which to be grateful.

UPDATE: 2011 should definitely be remembered as the year that HH and I began perfecting our "signature" pork taco recipe and hosting "Taco Domingo," as well as the year I hit upon Pioneer Woman's Restaurant-Style salsa recipe and have had it in our fridge nonstop since.

Precious Gift

2011-12-29T16:10:00.004-07:00

This is Zane.

"Zane" means "Gift from God."

Zane was born on September 21 at 32 weeks, weighing a mere 3 lbs 7 oz. I can't even imagine a baby so tiny.
.

Today he weighs a healthy 8+ lbs and is 14 weeks old.

He is God's gift to my cousin and her husband through adoption
.

What a joy it was at Christmas to celebrate this gift as well as the One who at Christmas showed himself to be both Gift and Giver.

"The Theme of My Song," part 3

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday I posted part 1; yesterday I posted part 2, and here is the conclusion. I did have three other people share the "theme of their song" in between parts 2 and 3, but I don't have their talks. The challenge for you (and for the brunch attendees) is to not just let it be the theme of MY song, but to ask yourself, "What is the theme of my song?" Where do I see God at work with a consistent message of love, mercy or grace in my own life?

***

We are right at the beginning of the Christmas season, and the songs that we sing during this time are a virtual goldmine for themes of God’s character and his saving grace. Think of the Christmas carols that we love – don’t they all bring a message of joy and hope and peace? “Joy to the world! The Lord has come!” Or, “Tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy.”

What I’d like to do now is to invite you to contemplate what is the “theme of your song.” Maybe one springs to mind right away, or maybe your brain is now racing or freezing up. But I’m not leaving you on your own; if you look in the middle of your program for this morning, you’ll find a page that says “The Theme of My Song” at the top (see below for blog readers). Would you to take a few minutes and look that over… and contemplate a line or two that particularly resonate with you. Why is that? Or, if you have another Christmas carol that you particularly love, why do you love it?

I know this: God IS at work in your life, in his endless love and mercy. Do you hear the theme of your song? How will you sing along?

“O Come, O Come Emmanuel”

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

“The First Noel”

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!
“Joy to the World”
He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

“O Come All Ye Faithful”

Yea! Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! For evermore be Thy name adored.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

“Silent Night”

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

"The Theme of My Song," part 2

2011-12-07T08:00:00.001-07:00

Yesterday, I posted part 1 of my talk. Here's part 2. Tomorrow, I'll post the conclusion.

****

First, let me share with you the “theme of my song,” at least for this particular season in my life. The title for my talk actually comes straight from an old hymn that begins, “Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song, the joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue. Thy free grace alone from the first to the last, hath won my affections, and bound my soul fast.”

So there it is, “Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song.”

The introductory notes of this theme for me – the “da-da-da-DA,” if you will – was hearing a pastor named Dave Harvey speak on the topic of “God’s Mercy and My Marriage.” This talk has perhaps been the single most influential thing in our marriage, and it’s because Pastor Harvey drew out how greatly God has been merciful to us and how that impacts our relationships.

“Mercy.” It feels like one of those words from the Bible that we intuitively might know what it means, but we would have trouble actually verbalizing a definition of it. So here’s a dictionary definition: “Mercy is a quality fundamental to God’s interaction with humankind. In the English Bible, the noun signifies concrete expressions of compassion and love… The primary Hebrew term for mercy refers to the love, compassion and kindness upon which God’s covenant with Israel was founded. The experience of God’s people was that his mercy revealed in historical acts of redemption (especially Christ’s death on the cross) was … inexhaustible.” (from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology).

We see the mercies of God in the story of the Old Testament Israelites … they were in a nonstop cycle of sin and rebellion, followed by a period of repentance and obedience. Things would be going well and they would forget God and sink more and more deeply into a mess of their own making. Then they would remember, “Hey, we have this God whose name is The Merciful One, and they would call out to him, and – totally out of his mercy and not at all out of their deserving – come to them and rescue them and restore them to himself and to each other and to their land … and then they would forget him and the cycle would continue. But God doesn’t change and that’s why the prophet Jeremiah, in the middle of one of Israel’s big messes, could say “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.”

In the New Testament, mercy is embodied in Christ. We see mercy in the simple acts of how he responded to people who were living messy lives, or who were just hurting. He was tender and compassionate to the greedy old tax collector and to the sick little child. He was also tender and compassionate to his bumbling, selfish, flighty disciples … which a lot of the time sounds a lot like me. He helped them grow and change, but – unlike us when our friends or spouse or kids are self-centered or rude – he didn’t lecture them, but was kind. His ultimate act of mercy – the mercy of all mercies – was his death on the cross. Coming down from a perfectly blissful life in heaven, rescuing us out of a mess of our own making.

How much of God’s mercy do you actually experience day to day? We all have no idea! You experience God’s mercy every day when you are not crushed under the weight of your sin. Then again, you experience God’s mercy when you are weighed down by your sin, as it is his kindness bringing you to repentance. God in his mercy gives you friends to share our joys and friends to help bear your sorrows. You experience his mercy when you have rich food and rich fellowship, like this morning, that remind you of his abundance; you experience his mercy when you are hungry and alone, as he is calling you to find your fullness in him. It is his mercy when you pray and know that he is listening, because in his mercy, he has covenanted love and goodness toward you.

I experience God’s mercy when I am snippy with my husband and he shows what Dave Harvey calls “mercy in kindness” and still does the dishes for me while I am putting Titus to bed. It’s because of God’s mercy that when we went to bed angry with each other the other night, we were able to forgive one another before falling asleep.

The more my eyes are open to it, the more I see God’s mercy in every moment. Another stanza in the song I opened with says, “Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart/ Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart / Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground / And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found.”

"The Theme of My Song," part 1

2011-12-06T11:20:00.006-07:00

I had the privilege of sharing the message at my church's annual Christmas Ladies' Brunch this last Saturday. I was blown away when many people -- some of whom I barely know -- told me that they had been praying for my message. That they would think to pray for me, that they care so much about our church and this outreach, and that they were faithful to actually follow through and pray ... I was humbled and convicted to follow more in their example.

Here is the first part of my talk; I'll share part 2 tomorrow.

*************

As I was preparing to share with you all today, I was reminded of how last year, at this time, at the ladies brunch, I was a week overdue with my little Titus. That was Saturday; on Wednesday, I had a healthy baby boy in my hands, a boy who just this week started walking. It’s amazing how much can change in a year … in a week … in a day. Joys and hardships – so much can change so quickly, and I know that many of you also know that from experience. A year from now, or even next Wednesday, there’s no telling what any of our lives may look like. But on Wednesday, next year, ten years from now, we know one thing will be true, and that is God’s love for us. It’s the only thing we can bank on, and so my prayer for us this morning is that – whether this is your first time through the doors of this church or whether you were here when the doors of this church opened, we will all come to understand even a little bit more how great is God’s love for us. And not just to understand, but to embrace our Father and his love.

[Prayer – Oh Lord, thank you so much for your love that is so high and wide and deep that we can never comprehend it, and we’ll never exhaust it. Please, give us grace now to understand, to grasp, to embrace even a tiny bit more of your love for us today. For me, Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Oh Lord my rock and my redeemer.]

I’d like to start off now with a little game of “name that tune.” Now, the big caveat here is that I am not a musical person at all, and I realize that in this crowd are many musical giants. So I do this with a degree of fear and trepidation, but I think it can work. We’ll give it a try, anyway, so shout it out if you can name that tune (and please don’t leave me hanging!): (Beethoven’s 5th – first 4 notes). Now try this one: (Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star/Alphabet song). And, this one’s for the 30-something set: (Vanilla Ice – Ice, Ice Baby).

What is it that makes those songs so recognizable? I think one of the main reasons is that in all three of those songs, the same few notes are repeated over and over – in slightly different ways, in different combinations ranging from the simple to the complex, mellow or dramatic, but they are woven throughout the piece in such a way that an experienced ear can pick them out immediately.

Wikipedia (I know, not the BEST source of information, but bear with me) says about Beethoven’s 5th and the use of these four notes (da-da-da-DA), which I learned is called a motif: “The main ideas are introduced in the first few pages [and] undergo elaborate development through many keys, with a dramatic return to the opening section—the recapitulation—about three-quarters of the way through. It starts out with two dramatic fortissimo phrases, the famous motif, commanding the listener's attention. Following the first four bars, Beethoven uses imitations and sequences to expand the theme, these pithy imitations tumbling over each other with such rhythmic regularity that they appear to form a single, flowing melody...” And the article goes on.

If you’re like me, a fair amount of that might have gone over your head with all the technical terms, but the point is that Beethoven uses those four notes – and other motifs — masterfully, in all sorts of different ways, throughout his symphony.

Now, the Bible is a lot like a symphony in written form. We start with creation (da-da-da-DA) and from then on, different themes and motifs are introduced and reworked and sometimes one theme rises more to the surface, and sometimes it’s really complex so you have to listen carefully to hear those familiar notes, but they’re there, and God is weaving them together into this beautiful piece of music that we can listen to over and over without tiring of it.

I have a cousin whose boys go to a specialized Montessori school in Arizona. The other day, the seven year old heard a classical song on the radio and asked his mom, “What’s this guy’s name again? Oh yeah, Vivaldi. He did a great job on this song.” If I may be so bold, God did a great job on his song, too.

I said a few seconds ago that in both the symphony and Scripture, sometimes it takes a more experienced ear to pick out the themes when the surrounding notes are louder and more complex. Several years ago, I began to notice as I listened to people speak, or as I had a helpful conversation with someone, that some people seemed to have a consistent theme woven throughout what they said. Like a musical theme, it fit beautifully with whatever was happening in the world around them, but that one theme resonated so deeply in their hearts, this was the theme that arose frequently in their conversations about life and about God.

One example is that when I was in seminary, I took several classes from Ed Welch, and I noticed that the theme of the wilderness kept popping up. The Israelites in the Old Testament spent 40 years wandering in the desert. Welch seemed to connect deeply with the experience of the Israelites during this “in between” time – they had been rescued from slavery but were not even close to experiencing this Promised Land that was going to be flowing with milk and honey … they were suffering, waiting, feeling empty, thirsty. And so, no matter if Welch was talking about the experience of addiction, or depression, or fear, he would hear in the music, so to speak, the same notes of how it felt, and of how God works, and he would weave together the Israelites’ experience with his own.

When I moved back to Billings, I spent a lot of time in conversation with Amy P and noticed that she had a consistent “theme to her song,” and I saw it elsewhere as well. So I’ve asked Amy, along with Pastor Alfred and Jan B to share with you about the “theme of their song.”

But more on that in a moment, first, let me share with you the "theme of my song" … (To be continued)

He walks with me and talks with me...

2011-11-28T13:39:00.001-07:00

Well, this video is just him walking. This was yesterday; he's doing even better today.

Mercy

2011-11-26T11:34:00.002-07:00

Read this in preparation for a talk I'm giving next Saturday, from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology's definition of mercy:

Mercy is a quality fundamental to God's interaction with humankind. In the English Bible, the noun signifies concrete expressions of compassion and love. Verbal phrases such as 'to be merciful', 'to have mercy on' or 'to show mercy towards' underline further the active and volitional character of mercy. The adjective 'merciful' denotes a quality of God and a requirement of his people. The primary Hebrew term for mercy is hesed, which refers to the love, compassion and kindness upon which God's covenant with Israel was founded...

Mercy is a quality intrinsic to the divine disposition. It is so essential that in some situations the adjective 'merciful' alone could be used to refer to God (Ps. 116:5). The experience of God's people was that his mercy revealed in historical acts of redemption was, unlike human mercy, inexhaustible (Lam. 3:22; 2 Sam. 24:14)...

Chicken with Lemon and Sage

2011-11-15T09:21:00.003-07:00

This is a Jamie Oliver recipe, originally titled "Chicken in Milk," and while that is technically accurate, it's not particularly an appetizing name. When I brought this to a family with four kids for dinner last night, I decided to rename it "Chicken with Lemon and Sage." PS - I love sage.

The Jamie Oliver recipe is for roasting a whole chicken. I like eating Costco rotisserie chickens (delicious and ridiculously cheap!), and I like making chicken stock out of the chicken carcass, but I don't really care for roasting my own chicken and getting enough chicken off of the bones to feed a crowd. So I used a package of boneless, skinless chicken thighs. In this case, I think thighs work much better than breasts because the dark meat stays moist during roasting and the fat adds more flavor.

I thought this turned out really, really well. I've done this recipe once before, with a whole chicken, but I think I actually liked this better. Bonus: it was faster, easier and cheaper.

Try it; I think you'll like it. (And consider doing a butternut squash risotto as a side - the sage in both dishes means that they pair well, and if you do the risotto with short-grain brown rice, it's really healthy and hearty!)

Chicken with Lemon and Sage
adapted from Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk

Ingredients:

5 lbs chicken thighs, boneless and skinless
2 T butter + 2 T olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper
zest of 2 lemons
1 1/2 teaspoons rubbed sage
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 cinnamon stick
2 cups whole milk (I used 1/2 cup half-and-half and 1 1/2 cups skim milk)

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

Heat the butter and olive oil on the stovetop over medium-high in a dutch oven (or a moderately deep pan that can also go in the oven). Pat dry the chicken thighs and generously season with salt and pepper. Drop the chicken thighs into the pan and brown them well on both sides. Remove the chicken to a plate and dump out the oil/butter, but do not scrape out the browned bits on the bottom (you'll want these to flavor the sauce that the chicken bakes in).

Add the chicken back to the pan and nestle the cinnamon stick into the middle of the chicken. Sprinkle the chicken thighs with sage, garlic and lemon zest, and then pour the milk over the chicken. Place in the oven and bake for around an hour, basting the chicken with the milk mixture every 10 minutes or so.

Jamie Oliver recommends serving this with mashed potatoes so that you can spoon the milky sauce (which will have probably formed some curds because that is what lemon/acid does to milk) over the potatoes. We just spooned it over the chicken and, as I said above, ate it with a side of salad and butternut squash risotto.

11 Months

2011-11-08T23:14:00.002-07:00

11 months old and already a little Jedi. We are predictably proud.

In all seriousness, being his parents is amazing. We love him more than we thought was possible. He is endlessly interesting and entertaining. His smile lights up a room. He popped eight teeth in the last month with nary a complaint (until the last few days). He loves to crawl around the room with matching things in his hands (e.g. a pair of shoes - one shoe in each hand). He can tell you what an elephant says, he growls all the time, he loves Baby Einstein and his real life dogs, and he gives high fives. He loves marinated mozarella cheese balls, chicken, oatmeal and bananas.

He's sleeping right now, but I can't wait for him to wake up in the morning so I can start another day of being his momma.

Memorable

2011-11-05T14:49:00.004-06:00

I was reminded today how very unmemorable I was in high school -- I bumped into someone I would have considered an acquaintance back then, and he looked at me today with faint recognition in his eye and asked, "Sarah, right?"

I laughed and told him my real name and he was appropriately flustered, so I tried to mitigate his embarrassment by remarking about how very long ago that was (13 years! How is that possible!). I didn't say (but could have), "Also, you were on the fringe of the cool crowd, and I was decidedly not."

I'm so glad high school's over. I'm so glad the rules of social interaction have relaxed and "cool" or "not cool" no longer defines us. I envy the high school kids that I know now who defy those categorizations and have discovered the secret that your identity can be secure regardless of the opinions of your peer group, and that "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" (Gal. 5:6).

It took me a long time to figure that out, and I'm still figuring it out. It's true, though: while many from high school may only vaguely remember me, God says, "I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" (Isa. 49:15b-16a).

Tito Feeds the Doggies

2011-11-04T08:02:00.003-06:00

I love this; HH and I watch it over and over and can't help but laugh along with our little boy.

I love it for several reasons. First, there's just something contagious about a baby's laugh. So pure, so unapologetic, not performing for anyone. Also, I love that Titus loves our dogs so much. I normally don't let him feed them from the high chair, and so it took them a while to warm up to the idea of eating fistfuls of cheerios from him, but as you can tell, it didn't take that long.

I also love this because it shows a little boy whose heart is learning joy. Even though he will have untold struggles ahead of him -- struggles from living in a fallen world and struggles from being a fallen person -- right now, he is learning joy. And I love it because not every baby in the world has the opportunity to be safe and healthy and just delight in things. We can't take much credit for this -- we do what we can, but really, it's a blessing to us, a gift to be stewarded, that we and Titus were born in a time and place where he has a stable family, lots of the cuddles that have proven to be important for a baby's emotional and physical development, and that he has enough food not only for his own belly, but also for his dogs' bellies.

May we be good stewards, and may God give us the wisdom to raise a boy who not only has a joyful heart, but who also has a grateful one.

Delicious, delicious chemistry. (Homemade Caramels and Caramel Sauce)

2011-10-25T21:46:00.003-06:00

I've been making a lot of caramel lately. Yes, it's pure sugar and fat, but isn't it one of the more delicious ways to ingest a combo of sugar and fat? Also, in the caramel making process, there's something amazing about the way plain ol' sugar (although I've been using a nice, unrefined, organic evaporated cane juice sugar lately) goes from a white, grainy substance to a smooth, rich, deep amber-colored substance. And in the first recipe I'm about to post, it does so without the addition of anything except heat and motion. First the sugar starts clumping together a bit, and as it heats up more, it eventually liquifies and then darkens. Yup, I make caramel for the chemistry. (Delicious, delicious chemistry.)

This first recipe, for caramel sauce, came from a salted caramel brownie recipe (and, in fact, I've already posted it in that context). Now, however, I've stopped adding the salt and started adding vanilla, and I just make the sauce without the brownies (is twice a week overkill?). I put it on ice cream, eat it with apples, eat it plain, put it in my coffee, and my small group members just drizzled it over their butter-and-salt popcorn. This recipe for caramel sauce is also dangerously easy and fast: no long boiling times, no candy thermometers or dropping lava-hot sugar into a glass of water (not that I've ever done that anyway). If you dare make it, be prepared to share it or you might eat it all in one sitting and then go back to make some more.

Caramel Sauce
(recipe originally from here)

Prep/Cook Time: 10 minutes

1 cup granulated sugar
6 tablespoons butter, at room temperature [I accidentally used an entire stick of butter this last time (8 tablespoons) and it was possibly even more rich and delicious, and it wasn't even greasy like I feared. Also, I think you can use either salted or unsalted butter -- it calls for unsalted, but I always use salted.)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2/3 cup heavy cream, at room temperature

In a 3-quart saucepan, heat the sugar over medium-high heat, whisking as the sugar begins to melt. Some of the sugar will harden into clumps, but that’s okay – it will melt eventually – just keep whisking. Continue to cook the sugar until it reaches a dark amber color. Add the butter all at once and whisk until it is completely incorporated into the sugar. Remove the pan from the heat and pour in the heavy cream and vanilla (it will foam up when first added). Continue to whisk until it forms a smooth sauce.

Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes before using. The leftover sauce can be stored, covered, in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. (You’ll probably need to warm it up a bit straight from the refrigerator.)

*****
I've also made multiple batches of these caramels over the last few months. I made them for HH to take to Asia for a work project, and the unanimous feedback from recipients was that they were a big hit (they may have even been the subject of a haiku in which they were compared to the sun's gold and called a delectable treasure). I won't copy over her entire recipe, since I follow it pretty much to the letter. I always use sweetened condensed milk instead of cream; I heat them to about 242-243 degrees (lower than she says because I like my caramels really soft and gooey); and I usually stick whole cashews into leftover blobs of caramel because cashews and caramel are a match made in heaven.

So there you go, two trusty caramel recipes that are big hits around here these days. If you happen to get some from us for Christmas, please act surprised. It's entirely possible that I could still be in the thick of this caramel kick two months from now.

Apple Cider Cream Pie

2011-10-25T15:46:00.002-06:00

We really enjoyed this Apple Cider Cream Pie on Sunday evening (and some eaters alleged that the custard portion tastes even better the next day). I had glanced at it and thought it sounded a little weird; I was much more taken with the Salted Caramel Pie on the previous page (which I will definitely be making at least once in my near future).

Nonetheless, I'm very glad that we tried the Apple Cider Cream Pie, and I think you'll be glad if you give it a try, too.

Sugar-free Banana-Pear-Zucchini Muffins for my Muffin

2011-09-07T15:22:00.003-06:00

I'm one of those moms who's trying to minimize her child's sugar consumption and maximize whole grains, good protein/fat, and lots of fruits and veggies. I've been a little disappointed at how many of the "learning to chew" baby snacks have large amounts of sugar and sodium in them, especially since I've read that what they eat now does a lot to "program" their tastebuds for the rest of their lives.

I didn't appreciate my mom's insistence on whole grains and low sugar when I was a kid; seriously, what kid is going to be fooled into thinking that carob is chocolate and Cheerios are a "sugar cereal." In retrospect, thanks, mom.

As I was making both banana bread and zucchini bread a few weeks ago (the zucchini bread is really good with about 1 c. less sugar and about 3/4 cups each white chocolate chips and craisins), it occurred to me that I could probably combine those recipes into some tasty muffins for Tito. Especially since I was already substituting ground oatmeal for the flour in the zucchini bread (Titus isn't on wheat yet, and I'm trying to be careful about it since we have some gluten intolerance in the family).

I finally got a chance to try the hybrid recipe this morning, and it's pretty good! Keep in mind that it's not going to be nearly as sweet as muffins you're used to because it doesn't have any added/processed sugar in it at all. I would probably add a little if I were making them for a crowd, but Tito and his daddy liked them just as they were, and I sneaked chocolate chips into a couple, which made them adequately sweet for me.

Also, you can probably do a lot of substitution here. I used pear instead of applesauce because I had pears, and pears tend to be sweeter than unsweetened applesauce. Also, I was aiming to fill these with lots of good calories for T (and keep it within the parameters of what he's eating -- egg yolks but no egg whites, full-fat Greek yogurt), but you could definitely use egg whites and fat free yogurt. I expect that in the winter, when zucchini isn't plentiful, I'll maybe use pumpkin for the squash portion. I'll add craisins or blueberries when T's chewing capabilities are up to it.

All in all, I'm proud of my first attempt at these. T loved them, and it was fun to give him some finger food besides cheerios and rice puffs.

Banana-Pear-Zucchini Muffins

4 cups rolled oats

2 bananas
1 pear, cored and cut into chunks (or 1 c. unsweetened applesauce)
3 egg yolks
1/2 c. full-fat Greek yogurt
3 t. vanilla

1 t. baking soda
1 t. baking powder
2 t. cinnamon
1/2 t. salt

1 c. grated zucchini

UPDATE: I've now been making this with 2 eggs instead of 3 egg yolks to be a little more economical (and because the small human is now eating whole eggs), and I use about 1 1/2 c. grated carrots instead of zucchini - the carrots are more readily available, and I think it adds some sweetness. I also add about 3/4 c. craisins at the end, which also adds sweetness and another type of fruit. T eats half a muffin every morning for breakfast while I'm getting his oatmeal ready.

Directions:

1. Put the 4 c. oats in a food processor and grind until they are a fairly fine powder; this may take up to 5 minutes. Dump the oat flour into a medium bowl and don't bother rinsing out the food processor.

2. Combine the 2 bananas, pear, yogurt, egg yolks and vanilla in the food processor. Blend until smooth.

3. While the banana mixture is pureeing, add to the bowl with the oat flour, the baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt; mix well.

4. When the banana mixture is ready, stir it into the oat mixture. Finally, stir in the zucchini.

5. Fill greased or lined muffin tins about 2/3 full and bake at 350 for 12-18 minutes, or until a wooden toothpick comes out clean. This recipe made 15 full-sized muffins and 12 mini muffins for me.

Here's to raising a little foodie :)

Gluten Free Salted Caramel Brownies

2011-08-15T11:43:00.003-06:00

These were delicious and I'm pretty sure I could convert the world to GF eating if I served them all these brownies. I actually ate almost half a pan since they're healthy and all. If you have the opportunity to cook for somebody who can't eat gluten, make them these.

Also, the caramel sauce recipe was suuuper easy; it just might become my go-to caramel recipe from now on. Watch out apples!

Gluten Free Salted Caramel Brownies

Make the caramel sauce using this recipe:

Salted Caramel Sauce

Prep/Cook Time: 10 minutes

1 cup granulated sugar
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 teaspoon fine sea salt [I used coarse sea salt and every now and then you get a little salty kick in a bite]
2/3 cup heavy cream, at room temperature

In a 3-quart saucepan, heat the sugar over medium-high heat, whisking as the sugar begins to melt. Some of the sugar will harden into clumps, but that’s okay – it will melt eventually – just keep whisking. Continue to cook the sugar until it reaches a dark amber color. At that point, whisk in the salt, and then add the butter all at once and whisk until it is completely incorporated into the sugar. Remove the pan from the heat and pour in the heavy cream (it will foam up when first added). Continue to whisk until it forms a smooth sauce.

Allow to cool for 10-15 minutes before using in the brownies. The leftover sauce can be stored, covered, in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. (You’ll probably need to warm it up a bit straight from the refrigerator.)

Now, make the brownies, using this recipe:

Fudgy Black Bean Brownies

Makes 16 Servings

This recipe has been so popular that we decided to feature it in our new family cookbook, No Whine with Dinner. We hope you enjoy the brownies … and our cookbook!

One 15-ounce can black beans, drained and rinsed very well
3 large eggs
3 tablespoons canola oil
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract, optional [omit the peppermint for the salted caramel brownies; instead, I added 1 teaspoon ground coffee]
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
Pinch salt
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly oil or coat an 8 x 8-inch baking pan or dish with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

2. Place the black beans in the bowl of a food processor and process until smooth and creamy. Add the eggs, oil, sugar, cocoa powder, vanilla extract, peppermint extract as desired, baking powder, and salt and process until smooth. Add ¼ cup of the chips and pulse a few times until the chips are incorporated.

3. Pour three-fourths of the batter into the prepared pan, smooth the top with a rubber spatula, pour about 1/3 of the caramel sauce on it, top with the rest of the brownie batter, then another 1/3 of the caramel sauce and finally sprinkle with the remaining ¼ cup chocolate chips.

4. Bake 30 to 35 minutes on a baking sheet to catch overflow (the caramel will bubble up a lot). It will be hard to tell that these are done because the caramel will stick to a toothpick. I think mine were slightly undercooked, but that made them nice and fudgy. Cool in the pan before slicing into 2-inch squares.

Discovery

2011-08-15T11:29:00.002-06:00

We are now at a phase in T's life (8 months) where he is making new discoveries every day about himself and the world he lives in. We left for the weekend and he wasn't playing his little piano; now he pushes the buttons and realizes that he's making those noises. He's getting into finger food. He actually looks at the pictures in books and even starts trying to turn the pages. He giggles when I tell him a doggie says "woof." He makes new noises and crawls faster-and-faster, often throwing a toy a few inches in front of him while he scoots along the floor.

All of this discovery completely delights me. He is learning to engage with and love the world around him.

It makes me wonder if this is how God feels about scientists, who are constantly on a quest to discover new things about themselves and the world they live in. Only God gets to be like, "Oh yeah, I MADE that. BOOM."

I think you could say the same thing about all the professions: engineers, artists, writers, chefs. We're all about some sort of discovery or exploration of God's world, like big kids in a playground created by a Master Designer for his pleasure and ours. What a fun time he must have when we delight in discovery.

Go, go Gorgonzola!

2011-08-07T20:52:00.002-06:00

I'm contemplating adding a new tagline to my soup blog, "Not just soup anymore!" And then it will become my main food blog, but then what would I post half the time here?

So, I'm posting more on food here for the moment.

I'm on a Gorgonzola kick right now. It happens nearly every summer. And, fortunately, Costco sells blocks of Gorgonzola as my head, and at a reasonable price! The reason I buy Gorgonzola in August is for the zucchini. Yes, the zucchini, which are just starting to come on in my parents' garden, which means that they're small and tender and a person could eat half or even a whole one for a meal. Here's how:

Cut your zucchini in half lengthwise (this works for bigger zuch's, too, for sure). Scoop out all of the seeds until you have a nice little zucchini boat. Fill the bottom of that zucchini boat with a nice layer of crumbled Gorgonzola (the amount is totally up to you .. maybe start with a little and add more the next time if it wasn't Gorgonzola-y enough for you). Next, add a layer of basil. Contemplate how delicious it would be to make lemonade with that basil and make a mental note to do that soon, but right now you only have enough basil to make the zucchini. Then, add a layer of sliced tomatoes. Top it off with a layer of another kind of cheese. This week, I used fresh mozarella (also best to buy this at Costco as it is ridiculously expensive at the grocery store); you could also use regular skim mozarella, or the shredded stuff you buy in bulk for pizza. I then topped this off with a little sprinkle of grated parmesan.

Now, bake those suckers. I don't like to heat up my kitchen, so I throw them on the grill at medium or medium-high for 10-15 minutes. You want the cheese on top to brown and the zucchini to be tender. If the bottom burns a little bit that's okay, you can just peel the burned skin off as you're eating it. After they're done cooking, I let them sit for a few minutes so the cheese sets up a little bit ... I dare you to resist them for that long. The Gorgonzola is an unexpected addition to the otherwise classic combo, but it's fantastic. Do this soon.

The next morning, you'll realize that you have a ton of Gorgonzola and while you'll be eating this zucchini a lot, you would have to eat it a LOTLOTLOT to use up that Costco block of Gorgonzola. So, crumble some onto a salad with chopped apples, strawberries, bacon and roasted almonds, and then top it with a citrusy salad dressing (I used Trader Joe's light champagne vinaigrette).

Finally, wow some guests or a spouse or even just yourself with this quiche (thanks to Addie for the recipe, one I used for the Mother's Day years ago, just before HH and I were married):

Gorgonzola, Apple and Bacon Quiche

Crust:
2 T butter
2 T shortening
1 cup flour (I used a gluten free flour mix this time)
1/4 cup milk

Batter:
6 eggs
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp dried mustard

Filling:
1.5 cups chopped, uncooked bacon (make it a leeeetle healthier by using uncured turkey bacon)
1.5 cups thinly sliced Granny Smith apples
1/2 cup grated cheddar
1/2 cup (or more) crumbled Gorgonzola

To prepare crust: Preheat oven to 350. Grease 8-inch pie pan with cooking spray. Combine butter, shortening and flour. Blend ingredients with a fork until butter and shortening are fully incorporated; the dough will be slightly lumpy. Add milk and mix ingredients until just wet. (note: if you are using gf flour, use more flour and chill the dough before rolling it out; otherwise it is impossibly sticky). Roll out dough and press into prepared pie pan. Bake for 7-10 minutes until beginning to set and be brown; set aside.

To prepare batter: Mix all ingredients in a bowl and set aside.

To prepare filling and assemble quiche: Reduce oven temp to 300. Brown bacon and drain. Line the bottom of the reserved crust with Gorgonzola cheese. Cover with bacon and apples, top with cheddar and pour egg batter for top layer. Place on baking sheet to catch overflow during baking. Bake for 45-60 minutes, or until quiche is golden brown and firm (depending on how it's baking, you might turn it up to 350 for the last 20-30 minutes).

Consider serving the quiche with a fruity Gorgonzola salad ... or would that be too much? And definitely add a mimosa into the mix.

Toward Understanding

2011-08-02T20:49:00.002-06:00

There is a song that I heard years and years ago (like 1st grade) when my parents did a "Walk to Emmaeus" evangelistic retreat. The song went, "God forgave my sins in Jesus' name, I've been born again in Jesus' name, and in Jesus' name I come to you to share his love as he told me to... Freely, freely you have received; freely, freely give."

I've been thinking a lot lately about this dynamic of having freely received and now freely giving. You see, I'm not naturally a very empathetic person, and so I do a fairly poor job of entering into others' joys and sorrows until I've experienced something similar myself.

Now, a couple of caveats before I continue. First, I know that Second Corinthians 1 teaches us that any sort of suffering enables us to minister to others who are suffering in any capacity. However, there is a lot to be said for similarities in that suffering -- to know that somebody really does know how you feel. For a divorcee, there is comfort from connecting with a fellow divorcee; the same is true for those who have lost children, spouses or some sort of physical capability.

Secondly, I've come to the believe that it is more difficult for we fallen human beings to rejoice with those who rejoice than to weep with those who mourn. Especially when those who rejoice are experiencing the joy of something that we would like to have. (Carolyn McCulley examines this dynamic in her excellent book on singleness, Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye ... don't knock it; as far as I'm concerned, it's the single best book on the subject, and the only helpful of such books that I've ever encountered.) So, it is a particular grace (imo) when I am able to rejoice with those who rejoice, although it remains a sober privilege and responsibility to weep with those who mourn.

Now, back to the topic at hand: in the last few years, I have found welling up inside myself a desire to freely give because I have freely received.

Our church has a tradition of holding showers for every bride and for the first baby born while the family attends our church. That means I've been the blessed object of two showers (not to mention our wedding). Each time I've been blown away (to tears, even) by peoples' generosity. It's really humbling to open gift after gift and know that people have budgeted for this, that they are making sacrifices to bless us. Maybe you don't know this, but starting a new married life and having a baby can be expensive. When a number of individual families give modest (but still generous) gifts, the result is a lavishing of love on the recipient family.

Sometime in the middle of processing all this generosity from my wedding shower, I became a fan of other peoples' wedding showers. I like going to them and sharing in the bride's excitement. I like pitching in my modest sum to create an aggregate gift that genuinely blesses someone. It's exciting for me because I know what it's like to be on the other end.

And this past spring when my grandpa died, our family received so many kind gifts of food and cards. I saw my grandma carefully reading every card. We feasted on the meat and cheese platters for weeks. The ham. Those ridiculously rich shortbread-toffee cookies. How could I not jump on the opportunity to provide food for a grieving family this week?

"Freely you have received; now, freely give."

It's a bit harder to conceptualize because it's less tangible, but I think this is exactly how gifts from God work, like love, joy, peace, patience, etc. I give mercy because I have received mercy. We love because God first loved us. I want to grow in my excitement to give these gifts of mercy and love out of my excitement of having received them first.

The last line of that song's chorus is: "Go in my name and because you believe, others will know that I live."

Others will know that I live.

Can God Make a Rock So Heavy Even He Can't Lift It?

2011-08-02T14:55:00.002-06:00

I liked this so much, I'm copying it wholesale from Jared Wilson:

I remember when I first heard this bit of immature atheistic reductio ad absurdum. I was in high school, and I didn't respond to it because the Nirvana-shirted, long-banged drama stud who said it didn't say it to me. He was laying it on his friend like it was theist's kryptonite.

My answer then, steeped in C.S. Lewis as I was, would have been along the lines of the nonsense of the question as framed. It is a rhetorical and hypothetical "gotcha" with no sincerity behind it, and in any event, it is sort of like asking, "Does the number nine smell red or yellow?"

My answer today is different. My answer today would not be to skewer the nature of the question but to inject its insincerity with the sincerity of God and all the weight of the gospel.

The truth is that God did make a weight so heavy he couldn't lift it. He did so not by building an immovable force -- we did that with our sin -- but by incarnating the frailty of humanity and willingly subjecting himself to the force. As one of us, yet still himself, he created the conundrum of the incarnate God, bearing a cross he both ordained yet could not carry by himself, becoming condemned in death and also victorious. And God was crushed according to the plan he himself projected from the foundation of the world.

So, can God make a rock so heavy even he can't lift it?

Yes. And he did. For three days only. And then he drop kicked it out of the mouth of the tomb.

I feel like I need to give him credit again, so I'll say: I enjoy reading Jared's blog, and you might enjoy it, too. Check it out.

Also, I'm a little appalled at how long it's been since I've posted anything here. If you missed me, I promise I'll try to do better. If you didn't miss me, please don't tell me as much because that would put a serious dent in my delusions of grandeur.

Carb Overload

2011-06-14T09:18:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I had the urge to grill ravioli. It's served fried, so why not grilled? I googled it, and sure enough, it had been done before ... I needed no further encouragement!

Not wanting to keep this interesting experiment to myself, I put out a call on Facebook - "who wants to come partake of my experiment with us?"

Dinner guests procured, I decided to add in another culinary experiment or two: potato rosemary pizza and glazed carrots, both of which I'd been wanting to try for a while.

All three were a raving success! And here's the great thing, you can do all of the prep for these ahead of time, leaving just the baking for dinner time.

First, the pizza: I used this recipe from Shutterbean. Variations were that I used whatever potatoes I had on hand (russet), dried rosemary (and I added it to the oil a few hours ahead of time), and I used half whole wheat for the crust. HH liked the crust so much, he thinks it should now be my standard pizza crust (which is great, except I need to figure out how to make it outside so I don't have a 500 degree oven on all summer). Also, I somehow ended up with way more potato mixture than worked on the crust, so we're having it again tonight with the second half of the dough.

Now the carrots: I used this recipe from Serious Eats, only modifying it by adding a pinch of thyme to the glaze as I was preparing it, and I used 1/4 cup orange juice instead of juicing an orange. I took whole, full-sized carrots and peeled them and sliced them in half length-wise. They cooked over medium-high heat for the same length of time as the ravioli. Surprisingly tasty!

And, finally, the inspiration for it all, the ravioli: I used the frozen spinach-mozzarella ravioli that Costco sells, which comes with a little packet of italian seasoning and finely grated parmesan cheese. I cooked the ravioli earlier in the day, drained them, made sure they weren't sticking to each other and put them in the fridge. When it was time to cook them, I tossed them with some olive oil and the cheese/seasoning packet. I wasn't sure about the cheese at first, but it turned out to be key - it crisped up really nicely on the grill. I spread them out, again over medium-high heat, and cooked them until one side had nice char marks on it. Then I flipped them and cooked until they were crispy on the other side.

They had a really nice flavor and texture! They were a little tough to eat with a fork, or even a fork and knife, so I think I might do these as appetizers/finger food in the future.

As a bonus, our guests brought pears, tossed in a fantastic butter/brown sugar/cinnamon sauce, to grill for dessert. Served with ice cream, with more of that sauce on top -- holy cow, they were amazing!

Six Months

2011-06-09T16:52:00.001-06:00

Dear Titus,

Yesterday was June 8, your 6 month birthday. All clichés aside, I can’t believe we’ve been your parents for 6 months. That’s six months of nursing, of being short-changed on a nights rest, of changing diapers and of marveling at the fact that you are your very own person. We just can’t get over the fact that you are your own person, you have a completely unique personality, and yet somehow you are a combination of our DNA, and you actually grew in me and came out of me. Crazy stuff, the way God created us to reproduce, I tell you.

You, being your very own person, are a delight. In the last few weeks, you have gotten interested in EVERYTHING. I can’t walk by something without you reaching out to grab at it. If we’re holding you during a meal, our plates, silverware and placemats aren’t safe from your surprisingly strong grasp. I’ve taken to setting you in your Bumbo on the kitchen counter while I cook and clean, and I have a whole bowl of toys that you play with there, although you frequently try to lift up the whole heavy wooden bowl that the toys are in. Sometimes you get really excited about those toys and whoop and holler in delight.

What joy you bring us just by being interested in the world around you. On Monday, I set you in the shade in your Bumbo with a few toys while I planted my garden box, and you really liked being outside. Occasionally I would look over and you’d just grin at me. Migo likes to rest in the shade where I’d put your Bumbo, so he was lying next to you and at one point, I looked over and you were resting your hand on Migo’s back. You already show so much interest in the dogs, smiling when they come near, I can’t wait for when you’re really interacting with them.

You are on the verge of crawling, but I’m not ready to start childproofing our house yet. It’s so convenient to just be able to set you down on the floor, on the bed, on a chair, and know that you’ll still be there when I come back. Still, it’s exciting to see you develop such an interest in things that are beyond your immediate grasp, and I think you’ll be a lot less frustrated when you can reach those things for yourself.

You also started eating solid foods a couple of weeks ago, and you have now eaten rice cereal, avocado, sweet potato, peas and green beans. You don’t seem to particularly love any of it, but you don’t seem to hate it either. You really like drinking water and have not only mastered the sippy cup (one kind, anyway), you also start smacking your lips when I bring a normal glass close to your lips for you to have a drink. So much of our family time revolves around eating, I hope you turn out to be a foodie like your parents.

You have already been a pretty big road-trippin’ baby. Your great-grandpa Jack died on April 18, just a few weeks shy of when you would have met him for the first time. Grandpa Jim, Grandma Kitty, you and I drove down to Laramie, WY for a week with family, and your dad drove down a few days later for the funeral. It’s sad to me that you will only have met one of your great grandparents, and it makes me really thankful that you will grow up with all four of your grandparents right here in Billings. Your Grandpa Jack was quite a guy – he grew up dirt poor in depression-era Nebraska. His mom died when he was a tiny baby, and his dad remarried a woman named Edna that none of my immediate relatives (dad, grandma, uncles) particularly seemed to like. Her family took a lot of formal pictures, and your Great Grandpa Jack is making faces and ruining almost all of them. At his funeral, he was remembered for his love of gardening, and every summer he blessed the entire community of Laramie with his produce; for his love of making gravlox, a Norwegian cured salmon that he learned to make from a Norwegian college student; and for his commitment to education – he was the head of the University of Wyoming’s College of Business for 30 years, and all 7 grandchildren are college graduates, most having multiple post-graduate degrees. He was generous, talented, cantankerous and an avid fisherman – I couldn’t believe how many pictures I found of him fishing, and all three of his sons inherited his love for the outdoors.

The rest of the Great Road Trip of 2011 consisted of a drive across southern Wyoming, Utah, Idaho and Oregon (and Idaho and MT on the way home) to spend about 1 ½ weeks with your dad’s Oregon family. You were really starting to engage with people, so it was a lot of fun for all of the Oregon relatives to see your personality and your spunk. They all particularly got a kick out of how you pump your legs and arms whenever we set you on our knees. It used to be that when you were fussy, we could tell people to put you over their shoulders and that would calm you. Then you wanted to be bouncing on our knees (with you doing the bouncing, not us). Now your favorite thing seems to be for us to hold you and bounce you up and down on the ground. It takes a few bounces for your knees to loosen up, but then you bounce and bounce until our arms get tired.

Oh, and your cousin Sophie was born while we were in Portland. I think your Grampy and Grammy Friesen were in 7^th heaven, having all three grandkids in the same place at the same time.

I’m afraid to say this out loud, but we like you so much, we’re kind of eager to have another one of you. (Please don’t let any of your grandparents know that.) Of course, everybody assures us that our next child couldn’t possibly be as easy-going and full-time fun as you (except for the occasional Mr. Crabby Pants days when I’m ready to rent you out by the hour; I’m thankful for local grandparents and our small group ladies on those days!). Still, being a mother continues to exceed my expectations. I like you. A lot. Please stay fun and fantastic.

Love,

Your Mama

Proverbs 3:6

2011-06-09T08:56:00.002-06:00

Continuing on from Tuesday's post on Proverbs 3:5, here's what Waltke has to say about Proverbs 3:6 (since we all probably memorized them in AWANA as a pair).

The father now adds to his demand for entire and exclusive commitment an exhaustive commitment - in all [see v. 5] your ways (derakeyka; see 1:15; 2:8). Instead of the gloss desire his presence, most English versions gloss da-ehu (lit. "know him"; see 1:2; 2:5) by "acknowledge him" (e.g. NIV, NASB, NKJV, NRSV). Delitzsch, however, rightly argues that the verb "is not fully represented by 'acknowledge him.'" "Acknowledge" in the sense of "to confess" could represent yada in Hiphil, but doubtfully in the sense "to recognize the Lord's rights and authority."

"To know" in this book means personal knowledge, intimate experience with a person's reality (see p. 77; 1:2; 2:5-6). The noted connections between the spiritual consequences in Lecture 2 and the spiritual admonitions in ch. 3 infer that "know" in 3:6a has the same sense as in 2:5b. Personal knowledge of God ensues from risking oneself to obey the specific teachings that pertain to all sorts of human behavior in full reliance on God to keep his promises coupled with them (see 2:1). Jeremiah equates knowing the Lord with having the tora written upon the heart (Jer. 31:31-34). So does Solomon (see 3:1), even if 3:4 is not original (see 7:3).

It is difficult, however, to get the mind around the notion of knowing God in connection with all of one's ways. But when the psalmist says: "The Lord knows the ways of the righteous" (Ps 1:6), he means, "The Lord is aware of sympathetically (i.e., not existentially, not merely noetically)" > "enters into their way" (and protects it) > "watches over" (NIV). Independently, Fox glossed the expression by "hold him in mind" and commented that it denotes "awareness of what [the Lord] wants as well as a desire to do it." Unfortunately, in this rare instance, he based himself "on the rabbis, not on philology."

Moreover, as in Ps. 1:6 it may also connote "desire his protective presence." The significance of the imperative mood is ambiguous because in this poem volitional forms are used for both pure admonitions and forceful promises (cf. "find," v. 4; "let it be," v. 8). The pattern of placing the divine promises in the even verses favors taking the verb as a promises (i.e., by trusting God entirely and exclusively you will know him). However, the consequence in verset B, "and he will make your path straight," implies that the admonition in verset B functions as its condition vis-a-vis "know him personally, and he will..."

Straight and smooth (see yasar, p. 98; cf. 11:5) renders the pun of this one Hebrew word to denote its physical reality and connote its ethical sense. Figuratively, Alonso-Schokel rightly says that it denotes either "straight" (i.e. yasar "right, honest, upright conduct that does not go astray or out of bounds," 2:13; 9:15) or "smoothness" (i.e. "the success of an undertaking or action"; cf. 3:23; 4:12; Isa 40:3). The structure of 3:1-2 shows that at least the "smooth" is meant here. Since, however, to know the Lord one must abstain from evil for there is no evil in him, that relationship also makes one walk "straight." Your paths (orhoteyka; see 1:19; 2:13) probably functions as a stock-in-trade parallel to derakeyka "your ways" (see 2:20). One has to view the course of one's life from a bird's-eye view, not from a worm's-eye view, to see this truth. A Portuguese proverb says, "God writes straight with crooked lines."

The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 1-5 by Bruce K. Waltke, pages 244-245

Bruce Waltke on Proverbs 3:5

2011-06-08T10:12:00.004-06:00

I pulled out Waltke's commentary on Proverbs thinking that his words about Proverbs 3:5-6 might be good ones to write in graduation cards. It's a little heavy for cards, but not for here :) (paragraph breaks are mine, since this is all one paragraph in the book):

The father now secures his son in a personal relationship with the Lord in bonding him to his teaching (see [Proverbs] 2:6). Since the son had committed himself to the father's ethical teaching, the father now orders the son to trust the Lord to uphold them. The son's confidence is neither in an impersonal created order subject to his rational control nor in an impersonal code of ethics inherited by tradition from the fathers but in Israel's covenant-keeping God who stands behind the moral order and heritage and its promises...

Since the teaching is good only to the extent that God backs it up, the disciple must trust (betah, i.e. rely on out of a sense of security, usually in the face of danger) in the Lord... Faith in God's promises and renouncing confidence in oneself (cf. 18:10-11; 28:11, 26) are unnatural gifts of God, mediated in part through the admonitions and promises. Normally, batah has a negative ring in the Old Testament. Jepsen says, "The thing on which one relies turns out to be deceptive, so that the words derived from the root bth are actually used to indicate a false security," such as other people and/or their deceptive devices... He adds, "Most of all, man must not have confidence in himself ... or in his own 'righteousness' (Ezek 33:12)."

Trust in the Lord, however, without definition, is platitudinous; it cuts no ice in one's thinking unless the Lord expresses himself. The unity of the poem and its connection with 2:6 show that one trusts in the Lord who speaks through the father's inspired teaching. The wise trust the Lord to uphold his moral order freely (i.e. according to his sovereign good pleasure) and contingently (i.e. in response to human activity). They are confident that as they fulfill their obligations, he will uphold his in his own time and in his own way, even when the wicked prosper and the righteous suffer (cf. 14:26; 16:3, 20; 18:10; 19:23; 28:25; 29:25; 30:1-14). That trust must be entire, with all your heart. Since the Lord alone gives wisdom and provides protection (2:5-8), one's security depends on him.

On your own understanding (or insight, see 1:2; 2:3) stands in marked antithesis to "in the Lord" and along with 22:4 is an exceptional use of bina in this book. "By the usual assumptions of the book, a mental faculty employed without trust in God could not be called binah." Elsewhere bina refers to wisdom itself, or insight into its interpretation. An entire commitment requires an exclusive commitment. Do not rely, or lean on as on a broken crutch, depicts what is meant by "trust." One is a fool to rely on his thimble of knowledge before its vast ocean or on his own understanding, which is often governed by irrational urges that he cannot control.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapters 1-15 by Bruce K. Waltke, pages 243-244

Thai Peanut Spaghetti Salad

2011-06-02T11:33:00.003-06:00

Want to bring something unique, yet easy and a delicious crowd-pleaser to your summer BBQs in the next few months? Look no further! I made this for a gathering last night, and I really thought I'd be bringing home more than just a tiny bowl's worth that won't even fill me up for lunch!

Start by cooking up a box of spaghetti (I used whole wheat, and my box said it was 7 servings). Drain and set aside to cool, or put it in the fridge if you're going to let it sit a while.

Then, cook up a double batch of this Magic Spicy Peanut Sauce. This is now my go-to peanut sauce, and I use it on everything that might possibly go well with peanut sauce. If I don't have fresh ginger, I use powdered, and I don't get any complaints. The only thing is, and this is IMPORTANT, the amount of chili sauce and sriracha that she calls for make this sauce INSANELY HOT. I've never used the full amount, and for this batch I only used 1 tablespoon of sriracha (no chili garlic sauce) for the double batch, and people still commented that it had some kick. Cool the sauce a bit.

Now, cut up some veggies. I used red bell pepper, carrot and green onion. Green onion is a must, but otherwise you can mix and match whatever veggies you have on hand, or are on sale, or whatever strikes your fancy. Sugar snap peas, fresh green beans and cabbage come to mind as veggies that would be nice additions. I'd say, though, use no more than 3 or 4 different veggies, because this salad had a lot going on.

Open a can of black beans, rinse and drain them.

Now, toss everything together and keep it cold until the guests come (or you take it along with you).

Sorry, I don't have any pictures, but here's a quick re-cap of the recipe:

Thai Peanut Spaghetti Salad

1 box of whole wheat spaghetti, cooked, drained and cooled
1 can of black beans, drained and rinsed
approximately 2-3 cups of chopped veggies (bell peppers, carrots, green onions, cabbage, etc)

Double batch of Magic Spicy Peanut Sauce:
6 T chunky, natural peanut butter
1 T sriracha
1/2 cup water
4 T honey
8 cloves garlic, minced
2 T fresh ginger, minced OR approx 1 t dried ginger
2 T soy sauce

Combine all sauce ingredients in a small sauce pan and bring to a boil over med-high heat. Boil until it reaches desired thickness (I made it about the thickness of yoplait yogurt). Let sauce cool in fridge or freezer (if you're in a hurry).

Toss the spaghetti, beans, veggies and sauce, serve and enjoy! (This would also make a great main course out on your back patio on a perfect summer evening. You could add an extra can of black beans for more protein.)

'Tis So Sweet

2011-06-01T12:34:00.002-06:00

Nothing original here today, but in the category of "Things I'd Stake My Life On," I'll take timeless truths over original any day.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
and to take him at his word;
just to rest upon his promise,
just to know, "Thus saith the Lord."

Refrain*:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

O how sweet to trust in Jesus,
just to trust his cleansing blood;
and in simple faith to plunge me
neath the healing, cleansing flood! *

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,
just from sin and self to cease;
just from Jesus simply taking
life and rest, and joy and peace. *

I'm so glad I learned to trust thee,
precious Jesus, Savior, friend;
and I know that thou art with me,
wilt be with me to the end.

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust him!
How I've proved him o'er and o'er!
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust him more!

Someone's in the Kitchen with Dinah...

2011-05-27T16:51:00.005-06:00

Sunday's sermon at church was rough. Go listen if you dare. Most commentators and preachers apparently skip over the rape of Dinah and Simeon and Levi's subsequent murder and pillaging of an entire population. Can't blame them, but their loss.

I came away with two primary thoughts regarding the sermon.

The first was how this story reinforces God's continuous assertion to the people of Israel that he did not choose them for their righteousness (Deuteronomy 9), but because of himself, for his glory. Look how low Simeon and Levi stoop, and yet together they continue to comprise 1/6 of God's covenant people, and the Levites are even selected to mediate the peoples' relationship with God. Not because of how good they were, that's for sure.

Secondly, Pastor Alfred made a striking statement. Usually people read (appropriately) so much horror into this story that they can find little redemptive or for application in it. But Alfred pointed us to the Sermon on the Mount, where Christ brings our sins of lust and of anger to light as being just as sinful in God's eyes as rape and murder. "If you can't see yourself in Simeon and Levi, you can't see that Christ is for you."

And so I ended up pondering how destructive our self-righteousness is, not only in our relationship with God, but also in our relationship with other people. Isn't it the same sin, just of a different degree, when I justify my own sin because my husband's is worse? That is the heart that breeds "tit for tat." Did you know that the Old Testament law of "an eye for an eye" was not justifying "tit for tat," but it was limiting the degree to which you could exact payment from somebody else for their sin. The human heart always believes that offenses against us are worse than offenses that we've done against others, and so God had to say, "No, you can't demand 100 cows in exchange for the two cows this guy stole; that's not justice, it's vengeance, and you always skew 'justice' in your favor."

In the economy of a marriage, that looks a lot like, "Yeah, well, YOU did ______" (subtext: "Which is a lot worse than whatever you just accused me of"). And, of course, the other person's only rational response is to respond in kind, digging up past offense after past offense that should be just that, part of the past.

I'm reminded of an essay that I was introduced to early in my time at Peacemaker Ministries, and that I posted on their blog. It's called "The Sinner's Place," by Stanley Voke.

Here's the opening paragraph:

The hardest thing for anyone is to take the sinner’s place. So hard in fact that many never take it at all, while others, having once been brought there, do not care to come there again. None are by nature fond of the sinner’s place. Yet if we do not come there, we cannot really know Christ or taste the sweetness of God’s forgiving grace. If we avoid it, we might as well say “we have no sin” and so deceive ourselves.

Do yourself a favor and read this and meditate on it a bit. And the next time you're tempted to even think, "What you did is so much worse," or "He started it; he should be the first to apologize," or, "I'm so glad I'm not as bad as him/her," remember Simeon and Levi and let Christ's grace take you to the sinner's place.

For...

Is it not strange that the place we sinners avoid is the very one the sinless Savior took?
... This is the paradox of grace. He who insists he is right will be pronounced wrong, while he who admits he is wrong will be declared right. The righteousness of God is only given to those who stand in the sinner’s place. Here and here alone is the place of true peace, for here we cease our strivings and find our God. Here is rest of heart and heaven’s door. Here we cast away our pretense, and admit what we really are. Here we come to Jesus to be cleansed by His precious blood. Here the Holy Spirit fills and holiness is found. Here are the springs of revival. This is where the whole church needs to come again and again. It is the place of truth and grace and freedom-the sinner’s place. When were you last there? In fact, are you there now?

Culinary Notes to Self

2011-05-26T12:03:00.002-06:00

This post really is mostly a note-to-self; I have more tabs open than can fit on one screen, so in the interest of streamlining my browsing experience, I'm going to record them here.

Of course, if you take an interest in any of these, I won't stop you. I've noted them for good reason!

Beer BBQ sauce recipe: I made this with Kona beer in an effort to replicate a sandwich I had at the Kona Brewing Company: Kahlua pork, Kona BBQ sauce, melted cheese, grilled onions and jalapenos. Como se dice 'delicioso' en Hawaiian?

Raspberry Lemonade Marshmallows. I made these with strawberry instead of raspberry since the dear hubby doesn't like raspberry. I liked 'em. What if I were to make ice cream and add chunks of them to it? That would be fun. All sorts of fun things I could do with these besides just eat 'em.

Soaking grains. Something I've been wanting to try for the health benefits but don't know enough to try it yet. I need to just go ahead and buy the book Nourishing Traditions. Another link, and another, that might be helpful (both on sourdough, the distinctly American way of soaking grains).

Chocolate caflouti. I made these the other night after making a blackened salmon that was delicious but made the whole house smell extremely fishy (note to self: do blackened salmon outside in the future. Oh, and never buy cajun seasoning; you can get a million DIY recipes online using just what's already in your spice cabinet). Back to the caflouti: it's kind of like a non-pretentious souffle (except don't expect it to stay puffed up). It's a very easy, but impressive recipe. I made a half-recipe for the two of us and split it between two ramekins (I'm not sure how she gets all that batter to stay in one ramekin; mine was overflowing as it was). The only thing I'd change in the future is that I'd push the chocolate pieces down into the batter so they got more ooozy; they stayed on the top and got a little crunchy.

Kefir soda pop. I'm interested to try this, as it seems like a healthy way to make a refreshing, summery beverages that's actually good for you!

Finally, Pakistani beef curry. I made this with elk a while ago and it was really tasty. I don't know how authentic it was, but it seems more authentic than some. And since we liked the flavor (and you can't beat just throwing it all in the crockpot!), it's a keeper!

Alright, now my tabs are down to information on making outdoor mosaic tables (our glass table blew over and broke last year), a safe that HH is looking at on Amazon, a blog post that I started last Saturday and will probably never finish, a note I'm typing in Facebook, my google reader, an MP3 I might buy on Amazon today once I listen all the way through the samples, and this window. Because you wanted to know :)

By Faith

2011-05-26T11:10:00.002-06:00

"And without faith it is impossible to please God."
~ Hebrews 11:6

I did something by faith yesterday, something that I felt was clearly the urging of the Holy Spirit. I fit squarely in the "frozen chosen" camp, so this was a big deal to me. I'd had the distinct impression that God wanted me to do something for several weeks (yeah, not diving into this Holy Spirit thing; baby steps for me), and yesterday it came back in force. So I jumped.

Whee!

It felt dangerous, daring and liberating all at once. As I licked the stamp (metaphorically, of course, since we don't lick stamps anymore) and dropped it in the mailbox (think: it's done, I can't reach in and take it back now), I had this surge of remembering what it's like to be obedient by faith. You don't have a comprehensive, minute-by-minute curriculum for the Christian life. Every moment is trusting that you are right where God has you.

It was a little thing, really. You'd laugh if I told you what it was that made me feel like a tightrope-walking daredevil. But that's another exciting thing: the actions may be small, but for some of us overly-pragmatic, see-it-to-believe-it-Thomas-types, it's a big leap.

Was it the Holy Spirit or was it just me? God alone knows. But he also knows a heart that's excited to take a tiny step forward in this "trust and obey" life.

This is the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)

2011-05-20T09:59:00.005-06:00

It's been a while since I've posted anything at the old bloggy-blog. I read the other day that *somebody* doesn't consider a blog a true blog unless you're posting at least twice a day. I think that's pretty arbitrary; but, nonetheless, it's nice that I'm not trying to measure up to anybody's standards here [good lesson for life and parenting: don't spend your time trying to measure up to other peoples' standards].

In the spirit of Facebook's current question, though, I thought I might post a couple of "What's on your mind?" thoughts...

- My grandpa died just over a month ago; the second grandpa to die in 6 months, and an ongoing weird juxtaposition of new life and the end of life. We had a great week in Wyoming with family celebrating his life and, really, getting reacquainted with one another; HH met many of my family members for the first time and, being the multi-faceted extrovert that he is, hit is off well with them. It was a great time, all around.

- We left from WY to resume a previously-scheduled trip to OR to visit a huge chunk of HH's family. Because we are both now "differently-employed" (read: don't have 8-5 jobs that require us to be in an office), we had the luxury -- and I mean luxury -- of taking our time, dividing the drive into manageable chunks and staying with friends along the way. We experienced fantastic hospitality and fellowship all along the way; some expected and some unexpected, but I was reminded what a tremendous blessing it is to have friends who love God and who love you and will open their hearts and homes to you at the last minute. It was also a luxury to spend quality time with so many family members in Oregon, since HH was able to just keep working wherever he got an Internet connection.

- But enough about me. The young one keeps getting ever cuter and ever more interested in the world around him. He loves our dogs, he delighted all the family, and he just started solid foods this week. I took these pictures of him yesterday morning; the monkey hat is because I turned off our gas fireplace and it got cold again. I turned it back on today. Also coming today: Tito tries avocado!

"The Sock Monkey Series"

Onto more generic "what's on your mind?" questions...

- I tried roasting strawberries the other day. It didn't go as well as I'd planned (I LOVE roasting veggies). HH thought the texture was gag-inducing, I didn't love the texture, and they were strangely salty. Probably won't be trying that again; you can't win them all.

- My friend Vanessa does a fashion blog that I enjoy immensely. If you like bold, funky fashion, check it out.

- I have this inexplicable (and I truly mean inexplicable) urge to get a cat. There are a million good reasons for us to NOT get a cat (including the hair, OH the hair, the allergies of guests and what on earth would we do with it when we travel?), but I still found myself scouting them out at Petsmart yesterday. Two reasons to get one: to help develop T's immune system against allergies and asthma, and to keep those pesky rabbits that are ruining my backyard at bay. Migo tries, but he's just not wily like a cat.

- I enjoyed this blog post this morning. I first came across this blog when I was pregnant with lil' T, where he did a fun picture every week of his wife's belly. Feeling sick nearly all the time and huge and bloaty and uncomfortable, it was fun to see pregnancy celebrated like this. If you're pregnant, do take a look and enjoy.

- Anyway, today he muses over the Harold Camping prophecy that the world will end tomorrow. I'd seen the prophecies but hadn't given it much thought; apparently he's getting more press outside of little Billings, MT. I appreciated his tone -- snarky, but not mocking, and actually a bit sincere. Enjoy, if you get the chance.

- And, finally, reading that made me think of college when I discovered the music of REM. I listened to one of their albums nonstop when my boyfriend left for a semester in England. But more specifically, it made me think of their song: "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)"

Afraid of the Dark, pt. 2

2011-04-07T21:16:00.003-06:00

Let's continue our imaginary conversation with T, shall we? Say he's old enough to be relatively articulate, and he comes to us, his parents, and says, "Mom and dad, I know I'm supposed to trust God and not be afraid, but I can't help it: I'm still afraid."

Whoa. Welcome to the fundamental problem of the Christian life, mi hijo. I hope this question doesn't come too late at night; but, of course, it will, and I will try to be profound and clear while barely keeping my eyes open.

I remember being in seminary the first time I discovered Mark 9:24b: "I believe; help my unbelief!" Where was this verse for the rest of my life, and why wasn't I aware that it was in the Bible? (Please, don't answer that.)

So what do I tell a little boy who has discovered the problematic disconnect between head and heart, that knowing isn't the same as believing, and that sometimes even the desire to believe doesn't translate into the kind of belief that calms our fears.

First, I think I'd tell him that he's not alone. Jesus' own disciples had trouble believing, Christian greats like Martin Luther and D. Martin-Lloyd Jones wrestled to live in faith (hence MLJ's great exhortation to constantly preach the Gospel to yourself), mommy and daddy often lack faith, and if we actually "get it," we are prone to forget and so Scripture is replete with exhortations to remember what God has done and to regularly remind one another.

Amazingly, there is One other who knows what it's like to struggle to believe, but he always ended up on the side of faith. But the book of Hebrews tells us that in the experience of struggling to believe, Jesus gained empathy with us; can you imagine Jesus struggling to believe God's promises as he was in the wilderness being tempted? As he was in the garden and going to the cross?

Here's what's great: God's promises don't depend on the strength of our belief. Yes, we take hold of them by faith, but once we've placed even the tiniest bit of faith in Christ, the strength of his overcoming faith prevails. The promises are ours no matter how little our faith; "Made like him, like him we rise; ours the cross, the grave, the skies!"

Christ carries us and the Holy Spirit intercedes on our behalf; God has made remarkable provision for the weakness of our faith.

I can't forget, though, to encourage T to ask God to increase his faith. If someone doesn't experience doubts about God, I'm not sure they are being entirely honest with themselves; but if they remain in doubt, they are placing the veracity of their own thoughts above those of God. It's okay to struggle to believe; it's not okay to glorify doubt as some sort of intellectually or spiritually superior state of being.

Sometimes (most of the time?) growth in grace is incremental and hard-won. Jacob wrestled with God and would not let go until God blessed him. The judge in Jesus' parable gave the widow justice because of her persistence, and the friend was given bread so the donor could get back to sleep.

T won't have to wait until he's 23 to know the words of Mark 9:24; it's a constant prayer for each of us. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.

It's Okay to be Afraid of the Dark

2011-04-05T08:28:00.002-06:00

I had an imaginary conversation with T last night as I was going to sleep. Yes, I have imaginary conversations, don't judge me. At least I was talking in my head and not out loud. This time.

You see, I think my little boy, not even four months old, is afraid of the dark. He normally goes to sleep with a lighted/musical thing hanging off of his crib. But there have been a few occasions, mostly in the car, when he has been wide awake and it's been pitch black around him. The kid screams. Turn on a light and, usually, everything seems to be okay.

So what will I tell my boy some day when he begs us to leave a light on, not to leave him alone in the dark?

First, we'll get him a nightlight.

And then, we'll tell him that it's okay to be afraid of the dark.

Darkness is scary because of the unknown; we are deprived of one of senses we rely on the most. We can't operate like we normally do. And we are suddenly surrounded by the unknown; the known becomes unfamiliar and we don't know what else might be lurking out there. In short, our weakness is accentuated by the darkness.

How does God respond to us in our weakness? With mercy -- he is kind, he is gentle, he makes allowance for our weaknesses. "For he knows our frame, he remembers that we are dust."

Being aware of our weakness is a grace that helps us remember our rightful place in the world. "They are weak, but he is strong." It's okay to be afraid; fear is a God-given emotion that was designed for our preservation. But. But: let your fear not only be a reminder of your weakness, but also of his strength.

Scripture also talks about evil in terms of darkness, and somehow intuitively we link the literal and the metaphorical. Evil, shameful deeds are done in secret, in the dark. "Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light." (Eph 5:11-14)

Do a quick search of the word "dark" in the Bible, especially in the New Testament. You will be amazed at how prevalent and powerful the metaphor is.

It's okay to be afraid of the dark; there are things in the dark that are unknown or outright evil. But "when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you" (Psalm 56:3) because here is the good news: "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (John 1:5)

We are children of the light. Just like when we flip a light switch and darkness is instantly banished, the end of history has already been settled and good triumphs over evil.

When you are alone in the dark, don't beat yourself up for your fear. Instead, know and cling to this: Light wins.

We Are Not As Sophisticated As We Think

2011-04-01T15:22:00.000-06:00

How many times have you heard someone say, "I don't know what upsets me more, __________ or the fact that it bothers me so much?"

I found myself saying that to myself this morning. Here are a few examples (and, see yesterday's post!):

"I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that I have this baby weight, or the fact that the weight issue bothers me so much."

"I don't know what bothers me more, my messy house, or the fact that having such a messy house bothers me so much."

"I don't know what bothers me more, the poor grade, or the fact that the poor grade bothers me so much."

Here's what's bothering us: the fact that our mind is dwelling on these things reveals to us our imperfections. Each flaw is like a festering wound; it's bad enough that it's there, but then it sits there reminding us of its existence and it just won't go away.

And we are surprised.

We are very good at convincing ourselves that we are better than we are. I don't realize that I am full of vanity until I have a muffin top. So it's not just the muffin top that I have to deal with, it's the vanity that snuck in there, too. I don't realize that I need to wrestle with such pride until I welcome people into a home that it obviously a disaster. I don't realize that I'm insecure and jealous until I experience irrepressible curiosity about a significant other's ex.

I thought I was better than that; being bothered means that I'm not.

In his little booklet, "I Just Can't Forgive Myself," Bob Jones makes the observation that such a statement betrays the same kind of moral hubris. I wish I could find my copy of the booklet because he says it so succinctly. But the basic gist is that when we say "I can't believe I did that," we are placing ourselves above certain sins, as though we are too good to succumb to ______. This a) makes us vulnerable to that very sin because we are not guarding our hearts and our minds, and b) minimizes the power of the remaining sin in our lives. Are you really too good to commit a particular sin? Beware the deceitfulness of such a posture, and go on a (devastating) mission to understand even a fraction of the depth of your depravity.

[The booklet goes on to discuss what we are saying about The Cross when we say "I can't forgive myself" -- essentially that we are more powerful judges than God, who declared that The Cross was sufficient ... but that's a post for another day when I can find the booklet.]

Be bothered, and then get to the root of it.

As Jack Miller used to say, "Cheer up! You're worse than you think!" Only when we realize the depth of our sin will we recognize how great is our Savior.

Good Enough

2011-03-31T11:11:00.004-06:00

I found myself yesterday being more troubled than usual by my inadequacies. It started with feeling disappointed that I'm not losing my baby weight as quickly as I would have liked, as quickly as I'd imagined it would magically disappear, and seeing that a lot of that is because I'm sedentary and eating like it's a free-for-all. It spiraled into not feeling adequate as a housekeeper, a wife, a mother, a pet owner, a car owner, a homeowner, you name it.

I now recognize that I was erring by focusing far too much on myself and not on Christ. What is it Robert Murray McCheyne said? "For every one look at yourself, take ten looks at Christ." Looking at ourselves and our shortcomings without lifting our eyes to Christ is nothing more than self-indulgent navel-gazing. In me, this is the fruit of pride: I want to do better on my own, or I want to sulk and not feel better rather than repenting and trusting Christ for those areas where I fall short.

The other thing I recognized this morning is that I was sulking over my inadequacies and not over my sins. It is one thing to feel laid low because of an acute awareness of your sinfulness (just look at people in Scripture who came face-to-face with God -- Isaiah, John -- they ended up on their faces); I consider it to be one of God's mercies that we are not frequently fully conscious of the depth and breadth of our sin, or we would barely be able to function.

It is another thing, however, to feel laid low because you are not meeting a set of perceived (other-imposed or self-imposed) standards. Things like weight loss and housekeeping. Though these can be areas of sin because of laziness, poor stewardship and the like (and I am not saying that I am not guilty of such sin), I think my attitude was the result of my own wounded pride at not meeting an ideal that I have set up in my own mind (or a standard that I think will make others think highly of me).

This, once again, traces back to pride. I want to feel good about myself because I'm measuring up to what I believe is "good enough." I feel poorly about myself when I am not "good enough," whatever that means.

The truth is, I need to repent of setting up my own standards for "being okay." This is nothing more than a pedestrian form of self-righteousness. In my own set of standards, I will either never be good enough (if my mind has a slippery sliding scale) or I WILL be good enough (a dangerous place of self-satisfaction and self-righteousness). I also need to repent of focusing on myself and my shortcomings rather than trusting in who Christ is and what he has done.

Christ alone sets the standard and Christ alone is enough.

That said, I think I'll do something exercise-y, avoid that third helping at dinner and maybe stop by Goodwill for a pair of pants that I can button today. All good things when done with the right frame of mind.

SAHM

2011-03-18T08:01:00.004-06:00

Yesterday afternoon, I dropped into my old place of work to deliver some stuff and to make the rounds with the little guy. They had seen him when he was about a month and a half old, so it seemed like a good time to show him off again -- he's changed quite a bit since then!

Several people asked me if I missed work. While I do miss regularly seeing friends with whom I worked side-by-side for 5 years, and I still believe strongly in the mission of the organization, I don't feel like I'm missing out. I love being at home with my son; my life and my heart are so full.

Here's a sample of why; this is last night as I was getting T ready for bed. It's no Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper or Baby Startling at Mom Blowing Her Nose, but it's my boy, and there's no doubt that this is one of the greatest sounds in the world.

Dear Titus, on your third month birthday

2011-03-08T20:24:00.002-07:00

Dear Titus,

Today is March 8, which is the birthday of two old pets (Maggie the black lab and Grunt the pig) and the 13^th anniversary of my grandmother’s death. You are also 3 months old today. That’s 3 months of you breathing the same air that we breathe and letting us admire your little fingers and toes. I remember examining your pinkie fingers when you were a newborn and the fingernails on your little fingers were almost unfathomably tiny. I looked today and they look like normal fingernails, which makes me sad because it’s another sign that you are getting too big too fast.

There are so many clichés that apply on an occasion like this, but it comes down to this: it doesn’t matter how hard we try to savor these moments with you, you are growing and changing so quickly that we hardly discover one version of you before that version is outdated and we’re discovering a new you.

I had thought before you were born that one of your nicknames would be “Ty-Ty,” but that hasn’t stuck. Instead, we call you Titus, Little Man, Dude, Sweet Boy (you are such a cuddler), T-Man, T-Funk, T-Bug and, perhaps our favorite, Tito (Spanish for Titus). I’m so surprised that Tito has stuck, but we discovered how fun it was to call you while we were in Hawaii last month, and there are so many great things that rhyme with Tito: Tito-Cheetoh, Tito-Dorito, Tito Torpedo and Tito Bandito. Your Grandma Kitty keeps trying to add “Tito Nieto” (“My Grandson Tito”), but I don’t think it rhymes as well as the others.

You have been the easiest, sweetest baby I could have imagined. Ever since you were born, you’ve hardly cried unless you were hungry or just on the verge of falling asleep. And speaking of sleep, you take after me in loving your sleep! This was a bit of a problem when you were a newborn and I had to wake you up because you needed to eat, and it would take me half an hour just to get you awake, and you’d hardly eat. But now? Oh, you are a dream baby (no pun intended): you sleep for 7 or 8 hours almost every night, and sometimes you sleep for as many as 9 hours. Until you have kids of your own, you may never know how amazing this is at 3 months, but suffice it to say that there are a lot of sleepless mamas with 6 or 9 month-old kids who envy me.

Just before we were in Hawaii in February, you started to do quite a bit of talking, and it was so fun to drive around Hawaii and listen to you talk to your car seat toys. You said lots of concerned “oooh” sounds, and you love to make high-pitched squeaks and squeals. You seem to really like talking to your Grammy Annette; there’s something about the pitch of her voice that resonates with you and makes you carry on quite a conversation with her. Your talking has only gotten cuter since Hawaii. Just this past Sunday morning, you woke up and ate around 7:00 and then sat in your swing and talked to yourself for the next two hours. I wish we could bottle your cheerful sounds and sell them on rainy days.

You’ve also been deliberately smiling for over a month now, and your smiles make my heart sing. Your Uncle Pax commented, though, that you looked like a very serious baby because you were never smiling in pictures. Well, just last week I finally got some pictures of you smiling (even if you were smiling before, you’d freeze up and stare blankly at the camera), and every time I look at them, they melt my heart. Obviously I can’t see into the future, but you are such a happy baby now; I delight in your happiness and pray that your life will exude joy that will bring delight to many others as well.

Your learning curve has been so steep in the last few weeks. You’ve gotten really good at finding your thumb, or any other finger that you feel like sucking. You seem to favor your left hand, so I wonder if you’ll be left-handed. You’ve started really examining things like the mobile on top of your swing and the little swimming fish on the monitor attached to your crib. You used to prefer to be held over our shoulders, but now that you’ve discovered the world, you like to sit against us looking out. You’re also grasping things a lot; not grabbing at them yet, per se, but when you get a hold of something, you sure do like to hold on tight. You got a sock monkey hat for Christmas and I put it on you yesterday even though it’s still a little too big for you. It’s SO stinkin’ adorable! It has these long strings coming off of the ear flaps, and you’ve taken to holding onto those strings in your car seat or while you’re sitting on someone’s lap. You’re on the verge of laughing, and I can’t wait; you’ve laughed a couple of individual times, but nothing like the hilarious belly laughs of the little baby whose video is going around the Internet right now, of him laughing at his daddy tearing paper. Soon enough.

For posterity’s sake, you might also like to know that your daddy started working from home in January, so you are the rare child who has not just one, but two parents at home almost all day. As I write this, your dad is making me a latte, which is a big perk for me of having your daddy work from home. You don’t appreciate this yet, but the big perk for you is that you get to see him off-and-on all day. We take turns getting you up in the morning or after naps because you have a really cute waking up routine. When we undo your swaddle, you stick both arms straight out above your head, flex your jaw and pull your head to the side, and then you make little fists and rotate them around. And often you just lie there and grin at us when we lean in to say good morning. What a way to wake up each day (especially after a full night’s rest, thank you very much, little boy!).

Being a momma (I haven’t decided yet if I want to be “mommy” or “momma”) is so much more fun than I ever imagined it would be. I so love to hold you, to talk to you and see you flash a smile when you catch my eyes. I often look up from changing your diaper and you are staring at me; and then you smile a little bashfully at me. You really like to be “free and loose,” so I linger over diaper changes and let you air out while we talk to each other or I read a book to you. I’ve started changing you sitting down on the floor so we can have a good time of it, and then we often transition right into some tummy time with more books or singing or looking at your stuffed giraffe. You like it when I sing the “Oh-Way-Oh”s of “Walk Like an Egyptian” or when we pump your arms and legs really quickly to pretty much any sound effect. Such a little boy!

I left a life of traveling the world in order to spend hours sitting on the floor with you. But I feel like a whole new world has been opened up to me, and I wouldn’t exchange it for anything.

Love you,

Your Momma

Our Heavenly Security

2011-03-01T13:43:00.003-07:00

Look, 3 blog posts in a row, after over a month off! Horray for a little boy who went down for his nap and will hopefully stay asleep for a long time. (By the way, I was pleased with how the clementine cake turned out; I chickened out and only made a half recipe to bring to Bible Study this morning, but I'm going to make the rest of it right now since I prepped enough clementines for two batches).

Anyway, I alluded to this quote at a baby shower on Saturday, but I think the whole thing is worth sharing (in fact, the whole article is great). It's from an article in the November/December 2005 Modern Reformation; yes, it's a little old, but I've been flipping through old stacks of them and this article caught my eye (marriage, let alone parenthood, was yet a twinkle in my eye when I got this in my mailbox).

When the apostle says that God has been a Father to us since before the creation of the world, Paul directly reinforces the security we must have to be effective Christian parents (Eph. 1:4-5). Our greatest failings as parents typically result from our insecurities. I recognize this in myself when I confess what usually upsets me most with my children. What makes me angriest? Too often it is what my children do that embarrasses me or makes me look bad. In such moments I find that I can easily discipline out of my concern for me rather than out of a primary concern for my children's welfare. At its root such selfish discipline is a far of the rejection of people outside my family. Buried beneath my anger is the fear that others will not think as highly of me as I desire - that I will be relegated to the sidelines of their acceptance or respect.

Conversely, I recognize it is often difficult for my wife (and for many other women) to discipline because of the fear that a child will be upset with her or reject her. Fear of a child's getting angry, turning a cold shoulder, or spurning a mother's love has stifled many a mom's discipline - and stirred many a child's rebellion.

Of course these are not gender-specific traits. There are plenty of fathers who will not discipline for fear of a child's rejection and many mothers who serve their own egos through managing the performance of their children. My point is not that both mothers and fathers have flaws but that insecurity can affect the behavior of us all. If we are more concerned about how people outside the family view us, we tend to overreact in discipline. If we are more concerned about how those within the family view us, we tend to underreact in discipline.

The sum of these truths is that anxious parents do not make good parents. So the Bible deals with the source of our anxieties by assuring Christian parents that God dearly loves us and has so loved us since before the creation of the world. Once this assurance takes deep root in a mother's or father's heart, it helps minimize the concern for protecting self that can be the hidden but driving motive behind our parenting decisions. Our security in our relationship with God frees us to parent for our children's good rather than our own - giving to them our security rather than taking it from them (see Eph. 5:2).

Bryan Chapell, "The Promise-Driven Family" in Modern Reformation, November/December 2005. The article is an excerpt from his book Each for the Other (Baker, 1998).

Random Stuff

2011-02-28T14:17:00.002-07:00

1. I am doubling a recipe that I've never tried before. How's that for living on the edge? It's a recipe for a "cutie cake," and I'm doubling it because I never seem to make it through a bag of clementines before the last few go bad. If it turns out well, I'll eat it all; if not, I'll be finding friends to pawn it off on. Friends who don't read my blog and therefore won't know why I'm bestowing cake on them. I'm also making it with whole wheat flour so I can justify eating it for breakfast.

2. I'm horrible at eating breakfast -- I get T fed, I get the dogs fed, I get myself some coffee, and then I just seem to forget to nourish myself until I'm all shaky and faint.

3. I can't believe it's been over a month since I've posted here. I've had things to post; I just haven't done it. I've also been meaning to do laundry for a week now.

4. I'm going to make these Cappuccino White Chocolate cookies. If I happen to double the recipe, it's because I know they will be delicious. My parents got some cookies like this in a Christmas package that I may or may not have eaten all of. I'm really pleased to have a recipe.

No wonder HH keeps complaining about gaining weight ... onward and upward!

5. I'm also going to try making these beer-flavored marshmallows that are coated in milk chocolate and sprinkled with pretzel bits. I'm still not a beer drinker, but I love making marshmallows, and I suspect that I have more than a few people in my circle who would love these.

6. Ummm... more on food. I'm on a kick of drinking hot chocolate with Bailey's. That combination goes exceptionally well with these white chocolate-waffle cookies that I bought on a whim at Target the other day.

7. Whoops! Gotta go ... T-bug is awake and getting a little fussy. He normally takes a 3-4 hour nap in the early afternoon, but after just an hour, he's wide awake. Maybe I can feed him and get him to sleep some more so I can get that laundry started, do my baking and maybe even tidy up the kitchen.

The Charlie Sheen in Me

2011-02-28T12:20:00.004-07:00

This guy is looking at himself in a funhouse mirror. Only this mirror takes what's all wonky to the normal eye and makes it look straight.

How else do you explain somebody who goes on national TV and asks for a raise to continue doing a show that the network canceled?

This poor man is a walking billboard for the deceitfulness of sin. The choice to sin (even in the less overtly destructive ways that typify most of our daily existences) has been called "temporary insanity." It flies in the face of what is true, what is noble, what is right and what is good.

But we continue to look in the distorting mirror and call what is crooked, straight.

We need God's Word continually in our lives providing an unmistakable plumbline of truth.

We need people in our lives who will point us to truth, walk in truth with us and gently-yet-unapologetically call a spade a spade when need be.

We need the Holy Spirit giving us the humility to respond to correction and to believe others when they tell us our perception has been compromised.

There is a Charlie Sheen in me. A crazy, crazy dude who, unchecked, will blithely careen into destruction: flauntingly, proudly, foolishly. Every right decision is by the grace of God.

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

Defender

2011-01-24T13:26:00.004-07:00

Babies are so much about the future, even with as much fun as it is to enjoy them in the present.

People are consistently commenting what a laid-back, content baby we have. I look at his sweet sleeping face and picture him as a tall man like his daddy, strong in a quiet, determined way. Will he will be a socially-awkward introvert like his mom or a comfortable-anywhere-with-anyone extrovert like his dad? People also have remarked since he was born at what an alert baby he is -- looking around, taking things in, making a lot of eye contact with people who are holding him (and also smiling a lot at them). He hardly ever cries without good reason (which will be great for his first plane trip in a few weeks!), even now as he's suffering a stuffy nose and cough from his first cold.

We named our son Titus, which, according to some sources, means "defender."

We chose the name a bit on a whim, it being a biblical name that was not common but not strange (at least to our ears). Only later did we think about a life verse for him (see picture) and his name's meaning.

Isn't it just like American evangelicalism to choose something we like in Scripture and only later import (our own) meaning to it. Whoops.

Nonetheless, I like that in nearly every other culture, names have meaning, and people are named (or renamed) according to their history ("Isaac"), their calling ("Peter" and "Malachi"), their future ("Abraham"), or how they reflect God's character ("Micah").

So now that I'm coming to know my young one as more than just something with hiccups in my belly or someone who nursed really well from the get-go, I find myself contemplating, especially in the wee hours when all else is silent, how Titus might live up to his name. What or who might he defend?

Maybe he will defend a younger sibling from bullies. Or better yet, maybe he will defend strangers or the school weaklings from bullies. Maybe he will defend the unborn or those who are modern-day slaves in our country. Maybe he will fight for and defend our country (and simultaneously make his momma both proud and terrified). Maybe he will defend the innocent in our legal system. Maybe he will have his heart broken by injustices abroad and defend those who are too poor or uneducated or otherwise weak to defend themselves. In the process, maybe he will introduce them to their ultimate Defender, the One who died for them and in doing so became able to deflect all accusations and injustices against them.

May he not be defensive. May he not communicate in such a way that causes others to become defensive. May his hands and feet, and his heart, be quick to do good, so that others never have the need to defend themselves against him.

Regardless of who he becomes and whom he defends, he will fall short and have to call upon his own Defender, the only one who can save him from himself. Even as his fragile young life makes me think about the future, may his struggles and shortcomings draw him to think about the future, what sort of man he will become and what sort of future Christ has secured for all of us.

"For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, ¹²training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, ¹³waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, ¹⁴who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."
Titus 2:11-14

You're Just a Country Boy

2011-01-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

Chocolate and Bacon: Two Recipes I Think You Should Try

2011-01-13T11:21:00.002-07:00

Incidentally, the chocolate and bacon are unrelated (this time); they just happen to be the key ingredients in two recipes that I'm currently enjoying.

First, Truffle Hot Chocolate Balls. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to melt chocolate chips into milk for hot chocolate? I used to. But I don't have to wonder anymore. I first tried these when I needed to use up some cream; now I will buy cream specifically to make them. In essence, you melt together 1 c. cream and 2 c. semi-sweet chocolate chips, with a pinch of salt (and I added a dash of vanilla to the last batch). Then you let the ganache (because that's what it is) cool, form it into balls (the bigger the ball, the stronger hot chocolate flavor you get; I use ping pong-sized balls), wrap the balls in saran wrap and store them in the freezer. When you're ready for a cup of decadent hot chocolate, drop one of the balls into a mug, pour milk over it (leave room at the top for some sloshing when you stir it), and microwave in spurts of 30 seconds until the milk is hot and you can stir the chocolate in.

Since I'm nursing and need extra calcium, I try to have at least one cup of this hot chocolate per day, and HH is now getting in on the action ... sympathy calcium intake :)

Secondly, I present to you Bacon Jam. I don't know where I first saw mention of this recipe online, but I was immediately taken with the idea. It was right before I had Titus, though, so it's taken a while to make it happen. In fact, it was SO "right before" that I bought the Martha Stewart magazine in which the recipe appeared (because at that time I couldn't find the original recipe online) several hours before we checked into the hospital. ( I also bought The Cookbook Collector, which I'd read was a sort of modern take on Sense and Sensibility. It was okay, certainly interesting and creative, but I felt like she added some unnecessarily gratuitous scenes, like most modern storytelling that involves even a modicum of romance.)

Anyway, bacon jam. I made it the other day using a nice hickory-smoked bacon, and the whole house smelled delicious. We ate it that night (after sampling it on crackers) on a panini that included the jam, smoked gouda (lots of it) and chicken. With spinach salad on the side. It was really, really good -- so good that HH took pictures with the idea of food-blogging my cooking on his blog! We're looking forward to playing around with the jam the rest of the week, maybe putting some on hamburgers, maybe breakfast burritos, and definitely more on crackers with slices of gouda.

And maybe making another batch when this one runs out :)

Where would you eat bacon jam, Sam-I-Am?

What If God Was One of Us?

2011-01-05T21:59:00.001-07:00

This past weekend, I was introduced to the TV show "Undercover Boss." In case you're not familiar with it, the premise of the show is that a CEO goes "undercover" and works at the lower levels of his organization, experiencing the satisfaction and frustration that his employees experience. The goal is more understanding of their roles as well as discovering policies (or people) who are causing inefficiencies or undue frustration.

I really liked the boss in the one episode I've seen so far -- he is extremely likable, not only on-screen, but also to the people with whom he is assigned to work. They're honest about what they don't like in their jobs as well as what they do like, and he is drawn into their lives in ways he did not expect.

What struck me most about the show, though, was the "reveal" at the end. They brought each of the people with whom he spent a day working and revealed to them that he was actually their CEO. He then spent time telling each person what he appreciated about them, what he'd learned and changes that he planned to implement as a result of his experience with them. Everybody was shocked (one man commented, "You clean up good!") and more than one person was brought to tears at the thought of a CEO who cared enough to come down to their level, to experience their joys and frustrations, to become involved in their lives.

As the "several months later" follow-up to the show demonstrated, it actually changed their lives. Based on the CEO's feedback, one man quit his job and is doing something that complements gifts the boss recognized in him. Others are redeployed or promoted within the company, with more responsibility, more impact and more enthusiasm. The CEO even pulled in a manager whose policies he saw were having a negative impact on morale and productivity and challenged him to improve.

It being the Christmas season and all, I couldn't help but see an incarnational analogy ... the unrecognized "boss" comes down from on high to experience the life of his people. Their weaknesses become his weaknesses, their joys and sorrows are his, and, ultimately, their encounter with him changes their lives.

If life can be dramatically changed by an encounter with a CEO who becomes one of us, how much more an encounter with the living God...?

*********************

And just because I can't resist, here's the Joan Osborne song that inspired this post title ... and whenever I hear this song, I just want to scream, "He IS one of us!!!" That's the whole beauty of the Christian faith -- by becoming one of us, he saved us!

...In sending his beloved son...

2010-12-24T12:15:00.001-07:00

Good people all, this Christmas time,
Consider well and bear in mind
What our good God for us has done
In sending his beloved son
With Mary holy we should pray,
To God with love this Christmas Day
In Bethlehem upon that morn,
There was a blessed Messiah born

Infant-Induced Sleep Deprivation Helps With Keeping Short Accounts

2010-12-21T13:25:00.002-07:00

Last night I jokingly told HH that I was going to remember something and add it to the "score" I was keeping against him. Hours later I couldn't, for the life of me, remember what it was.

If only our more wakeful selves had this kind of short-term memory loss for (real) wrongs committed against us...

"I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more."
Isaiah 43:25

There is a Redeemer...

2010-12-13T19:38:00.003-07:00

What a wild week: last Monday I awoke to the news of a friend's death. On Tuesday I checked into the hospital and on Wednesday we welcomed a healthy, beautiful, big (for me) baby boy into the world. We spent the rest of the week acclimating and falling in love with him. On Saturday morning, my mom received word that her ailing father had been taken to the hospital and was being removed from his oxygen, which meant it was only a matter of time before he died. He hung on until early this morning.

Later this morning, HH left me at home with our little guy (we're not supposed to be out in public yet for the sake of both of our health) to attend our friend's memorial service. I wish I could have been there -- it sounds like it was a beautiful service celebrating Christ's beauty as reflected through one of his people. Of course, I would have cried through the whole thing -- I cried through it anyway from home as I sat and held our son and grieved with a woman who had to say goodbye to her own son way too soon.

Death, new life, death. This is the second December in a row that I find myself contemplating death at Christmas.

The poem below speaks to what the Incarnation represents: God himself entering our messy world and beginning the messy and painful process of redeeming all that is broken and painful. As long as we remain here on earth, our griefs will remain; but our grief is sanctified, and we can rest in knowing that the day is coming when all of our tears will be wiped away.

Resignation
by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There is no flock, however watched and tended,
But one dead lamb is there!
There is no fireside, howsoe’er defended,
But has one vacant chair!

The air is full of farewells to the dying,
And mournings for the dead;
The heart of Rachel, for her children crying,
Will not be comforted!

Let us be patient! These severe afflictions
Not from the ground arise,
But oftentimes celestial benedictions
Assume this dark disguise.

We see but dimly through the mists and vapors;
Amid these earthly damps
What seem to us but sad, funereal tapers
May be heaven’s distant lamps.

There is no Death! What seems so is transition;
This life of mortal breath
Is but a suburb of the life elysian,
Whose portal we call Death.

She is not dead,–the child of our affection,–
But gone unto that school
Where she no longer needs our poor protection,
And Christ himself doth rule.

In that great cloister’s stillness and seclusion,
By guardian angels led,
Safe from temptation, safe from sin’s pollution,
She lives, whom we call dead.

Day after day we think what she is doing
In those bright realms of air;
Year after year, her tender steps pursuing,
Behold her grown more fair.

Thus do we walk with her, and keep unbroken
The bond which nature gives,
Thinking that our remembrance, though unspoken,
May reach her where she lives.

Not as a child shall we again behold her;
For when with raptures wild
In our embraces we again enfold her,
She will not be a child;

But a fair maiden, in her Father’s mansion,
Clothed with celestial grace;
And beautiful with all the soul’s expansion
Shall we behold her face.

And though at times impetuous with emotion
And anguish long suppressed,
The swelling heart heaves moaning like the ocean,
That cannot be at rest,–

We will be patient, and assuage the feeling
We may not wholly stay;
By silence sanctifying, not concealing,
The grief that must have way.

How He Loves

2010-12-06T12:28:00.005-07:00

I am shaken and saddened today by the news that a friend -- a man my age -- lost his life in a car accident last night.

For his gentle, kind spirit, for his humble joy in sharing his amazing culinary skills with the rest of us, and for his honest-but-persistent clinging to Christ, he will be greatly missed.

It was those first two thoughts that came first to mind as I thought about him this morning. But it is for that last thought that I am thanking God for his life right now. He sometimes struggled to find his place in community, but he never quit seeking and he never quit serving. He wandered but was brought back. He had questions, but he didn't stop asking. In all this I know that he clung to Christ because Christ clung to him first.

Friend, Christ loves you so, so much. I'm thankful that you now live that reality by sight and not just by faith.

How He Loves : A Song Story from john mark mcmillan on Vimeo.

...On whom his favor rests

2010-12-05T09:08:00.002-07:00

From Scotty Smith's prayer for today, based on Luke 2:12-14 ("Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'”):

Lord Jesus, as we listen again to this old host of angels declaring your glory and your grace, may it drive us into a fresh worship of you this very Advent season. It’s only because you submitted to the fullness of God’s disfavor for us that we can even imagine, must less boast of having the fullness of God’s favor resting on us. We praise, honor and adore you. We will not look at your cradle without gazing at your cross.

I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day

2010-12-02T12:47:00.002-07:00

Christa Wells posted a link the other day to an Advent music album that she'd participated in recording with other North Carolinian artists. You can stream the whole album from the website, and after listening to it a few times through, I decided to download it.

The song "Christmas Bells" really caught my ear the other day ... You can listen to it here, but check out these words, which turn out to have been penned by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:

Christmas Bells
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, arr. John Gorka

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet, the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

I thought how, as the day had come
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along the unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair, I bowed my head
"There is no peace on earth," I said
For hate is strong, and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

Then pealed the bells, more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth he sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And wild and sweet, the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men
Peace on earth, good will to men

All Truth and No Treasure? Treasuring Christ this Advent

2010-12-01T09:43:00.003-07:00

We looked at Romans 6:13-23 yesterday in Bible Study, and one of the ladies who had listened to a John Piper sermon on that passage quoted part of it that I really liked (in bold, below). When I looked the quote up this morning, I realized that it was a sermon preached during Advent, which makes it even more appropriate for right now (did you know that Sunday was the first Sunday in Advent?).

The conclusion to Piper's sermon on Romans 6:14-19:

I want to close today where we began – with the Christian life as the triumph of desire, not just decision. Connect this now to what we have seen. Who is this in verse 15 that talks like this: "Let us sin because we are not under law but under grace. Since Christ is our righteousness for justification, since our right standing with God is based on his righteousness not ours, then let's sin, because there can't be any penalty. Christ is our righteousness." Who talks like that?

I said at the beginning it is people whose Christianity is a group of ideas about Christ, not an experience of the preciousness of Christ. Their Christianity is all truth and no treasure. All "choices" and no cherishing. All logic about Christ and no love for Christ. All "decision" and no delight. And O how many people there are who come to church and are in this category!

So my closing plea is that during Advent 2000, we would all pursue the preciousness of Christ. And the preciousness of justification by faith. And the preciousness of being under grace, not under law. Advent means: "When the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under Law, so that He might redeem those who were under Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons" (Galatians 4:4-5). He came under law and satisfied the law, so that we might be redeemed from law and become children of God.

If that does not feel precious to you, if that is not the treasure of your life – more precious than gold and sweeter than honey – would you pursue the preciousness of Christ this Advent? Ask God to open the eyes of your heart. Turn off the television. Set your mind on the things of Christ. Fast and pray, "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad in you all our days" (Psalm 90:14).

(btw, the whole sermon is very much worth listening to/reading if you have a few minutes to spare.)

We Need the Objective Righteousness of Christ

2010-11-29T05:00:00.004-07:00

I don't particularly follow football, but I've been intrigued on and off this season by the dramatic comeback of Michael Vick. Here's a guy who has, by all appearances, radically reformed himself in every way. He spent what should have been the height of his career in jail; he worked his butt off all summer and has come back better than ever both as a player and as a person. Who doesn't love an underdog story? Who doesn't love a tale of redemption?

A lot of people, apparently.

Chris Brauns shared a piece from Sports Illustrated's Rick Reilly arguing that "it's time to forgive Michael Vick."

I’m just not sure what people want Michael Vick to do.
Quit football? Return to prison? Drown himself in the same lake where he and his crew used to drown dogs? Would he be forgiven then?

Now that Vick is having an eye-bugging season for the Philadelphia Eagles — 11 touchdowns, zero interceptions, four starts, four wins, one "Monday Night Football" jersey sent to the Pro Football Hall of Fame — it seems only to have torqued off dog lovers worse.

I'm admittedly an over-the-top-dog-lover, and yet I think Reilly makes a compelling point; the full article goes to great lengths to ask, "What more is he supposed to do for angry dog lovers to forgive him?" (Or at least to get off his back?)

Here's what I came away thinking after reading Reilly's piece: there is nothing he can or will do. I know this because I know my own heart. This is why we need an objective standard for forgiveness that is outside of ourselves, both as the forgiver and as the forgiven.

If forgiveness is going to have its roots in something inherent in me as the forgiver (I decide when the offender has done enough to earn his way back into my favor) or as the forgiven (I show enough contrition or make adequate amends), we are in danger of falling into a bottomless pit. I've seen this in striking fashion in mediations where the offended people seem to be holding out for some additional sign of repentance before they will forgive; until they choose to forgive, that sign never comes. This is what has Reilly so frustrated; Vick has done enough for him to earn forgiveness, but there is a cadre of people out there who have unconsciously created a standard of forgiveness for dog-torturers that is simply unattainable.

Beware what Miroslav Volf so aptly called "rightful moral outrage [that] has mutated into self-deceiving moral smugness" (Exclusion and Embrace 58). Jesus said it perhaps more simply, "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye" (Mt 7:3-5).

I've blogged about this dynamic before with respect to my marriage. Here's what I wrote then:

One more aspect of "the punishment game" that I'd encourage you to avoid is making your husband do something to get back into your good graces. In our marriage, it goes something like this: HH does something and I am angry at him. He then has the opportunity to get himself back into my good graces by doing me favors. I'll wake up in the morning and realize that he feels badly about something because I can hear him doing the dishes. Or he'll express feeling guilty because he doesn't feel like he's been doing his fair share around the house lately, so I'll tell him that he can make up for it later by, say, vacuuming or (better yet), giving me a back rub. (Back rubs are seriously an idol for me!).

There's nothing wrong with my husband seeking to bless me through tangible acts of service. But this isn't seeking to bless, this is seeking to appease. And I've discovered that in my own heart, it's a bottomless pit. Maybe emptying the dishwasher this time will work ... but next time, he's going to have to empty the dishwasher AND vacuum (at this point, someone at the shower chimed in, "and fold the laundry!" so I suspect I struck a nerve!). The scary thing is the same question I asked someone in a mediation a few weeks ago -- "How much is enough?" At some point, he's not going to be able to do enough for me to forgive him. We've got to find another way to be restored to each other.

Also scary is how remarkably similar this "theology" is to our natural tendency to believe that we need to work our way back into God's favor. Does God insist that we pay penance before being restored to him? No! And since God does not treat us in this way, we have no right to treat our spouses in this way.

And that's why I titled this post, "We need the objective righteousness of Christ." Our forgiveness, whether it be for something seemingly inconsequential or something really major, whether it be for a deeply personal offense or something more public and not personally directed at us, can never rooted in the subjectivity of our own goodwill or of the offender's restitutionary deeds (however necessary those might be). We need the finished work of Christ compelling us to forgive and, when we need forgiveness, calling us to rest in the knowledge that our sins were fully and finally paid for on the cross.

Michael Vick has said, "I can live my life with a clear mind every day, knowing that I'm moving forward." For all the good he's doing right now, I hope Michael Vick ultimately finds his clear conscience in the good of Someone Else.

A Victorious Marriage... Or, Little Moments of Win

2010-11-17T12:11:00.002-07:00

Doesn't the post title "A Victorious Marriage" sound so Joel-Osteen-esque? Don't worry, I'm not channeling my inner-prosperity-gospel-preacher; that's why I added the subtitle, "Little Moments of Win"!

Here's what I mean: I've just been thinking about times in my marriage when I would consider myself "victorious." I'm not talking about times when I "win" (not really) a fight through cruel words or outlasting HH in the silent treatment. I'm talking about spiritual victories, even though they might generally seem so small as to be insignificant. In his book What Did You Expect, one of Paul Tripp's major theses is that marriages are made or broken in the little moments, not the big ones. To that end, I want to celebrate a couple of times when I've consciously thought to myself, "I am so thankful that God has given me the grace to conquer my selfish desires for the sake of my marriage."

Here are a few of those examples:

Victory in the Insignificant. Ken Sande has a great chapter title in The Peacemaker called, "Is this really worth fighting over?" It's a great question. There are a lot of things that I could spend a lot of time getting worked up about. Sometimes I do get worked up, and sometimes I'm more victorious ... I'm talking about the times when HH does or doesn't do something that's a minor inconvenience to me. Maybe he left a dirty napkin or dish sitting on the counter after eating breakfast and I have to throw it away. Maybe he didn't leave his cell phone on and I can't get a hold of him for a few minutes. Maybe he left something sitting in my way in the garage and I have to move it before I can put something else away. It takes me all of five seconds to serve him by taking care of it and not bringing it up to him later (which is essentially a form of punishment). My goal is to not even let these occasions phase me; if they do, my goal is to have the grace to say, "Is this worth getting worked up about" and to serve my husband by taking care of it and moving on without him ever knowing about it.

Victory in Apology. Call me crazy or overly sinful, but every time I work up the nerve to say, "I'm sorry, I was wrong," or "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have spoken to you like that," I count it as a spiritual victory. Because it's hard. Because it still doesn't come naturally. Because it's a conscious choice to live by the fruit of the Spirit rather than the fruit of my flesh. Because it's dying to myself ... and by that death, I promote the life of my soul and the life of my marriage. Don't take it lightly when you apologize to your spouse or when they apologize to you: God's victorious reign in your life is powerfully displayed in those two simple words!

Victory in Desires. I struggle here... I suspect that we all do. The progression of an idol shows us that we can have good, innocuous or bad desires. If you have a good or neutral desire but you escalate it to a demand, you are on the path to conflict. The desires can be small; in my teaching during my former life at PM, I would illustrate this with my desire for back rubs from my husband. He was so eager (and good!) to give me backrubs while we were dating and during the first 3 months of our marriage. Then the thrill wore off for him... but not my desire for them. Do I demand backrubs from him and punish him when he doesn't fulfill my demands? Or do I do battle with my desires and recognize where they are leading me? There are little desires like this (I pretty much desire that HH do anything that makes my life easier), and there are big desires that affect major life decisions. As the song says, "You can't always get what you want." I like to think that by training my soul to be victorious over my smaller desires, I am preparing my heart to be victorious over bigger desires/demands as well.

Victory in Asking Nicely. This is a bit of a follow-up to the "desires" bit ... there's nothing wrong with giving my husband the opportunity to meet my desires or to help/serve me. HH is a foot taller than I am; I asked him nicely the other day if he would change some lightbulbs for me -- it's a lot easier for him to reach up to do it than for me to climb perilously on a chair (even more perilous now that I'm 38 weeks pregnant!), and he was happy to comply. What if he hadn't done it right away? Be patient, ask again nicely, or overlook and do it myself. No biggie. Another part of being 38 weeks pregnant is that everything on my body aches, so I now ask him more for the massages that I desire. Nicely, without expectation, and grateful when he finds joy in serving me in this way.

Victory in Gratitude. HH does a lot of things that make my life easier. I haven't had to worry about caring for the outside of our house since we got married (and this after being the sole lawn-mower for 3 years!). He washes my car and puts gas in it. He carries heavy bags for me. He does the dishes that have been building up in the sink for two days while I'm still in bed in the morning! I could go on and on ... I think that the point at which I begin to take these things for granted or expect them is a defeat. To live in gratitude is victory.

Victory in Serving. This is the last one that comes to mind for me right now; I count it a small victory when I get out of my self-centered shell and ask myself, "How can I serve or bless my husband today?" Sometimes it's just being excited to see him and spending time doing what he wants to do; sometimes it's giving him permission to be busy with work or other friends. Sometimes it's writing him a love note or telling him that I'm proud of him; sometimes it's making him lunch. Sometimes it's asking him, "How can I bless you today?" I am living in defeat when my world shrinks to the size of my world (a Paul Tripp-ism, I think); I am living in victory when I reach outside of myself to serve others in love. And that service begins with my nearest neighbor.

Where do you find victory in your relationships with your closest neighbor? What are you doing to live in resurrection power today?

Suffering Does Not Rob You Of Joy—Idolatry Does

2010-11-11T09:21:00.001-07:00

From a fantastic post by Tullian Tchividjian today:

[Job's response to suffering] clearly shows that if the foundation of your identity is your things—the thing that makes me who I am is this position, these relationships, having this name, having this money, and so on—then suffering will be pulling you away from the uttermost foundations of your joy, and that will make you mad, bitter, and sad. But if your identity is anchored in Christ, so that you are able to say, “Everything I need I already possess in Him”, then suffering drives you deeper into your source of joy. Suffering, in other words, shows us where we are locating our identity. Suffering reveals what we’re building our life on and what we’re depending on to make life worth living.

This means that suffering itself does not rob you of joy—idolatry does. If you’re suffering and you’re angry, bitter, and joyless it means you’ve idolized–and felt entitled to–whatever it is you’re losing. Entitlement and self-pity stem from our belief that we deserve more than what we’re getting–love, attention, respect, approval. The gospel, however, frees us to revel in our expendability! It provides us with the foundation to maintain radical joy in remarkable loss. Joylessness and bitterness in the crucible of pain happens when we lose something (or think we deserve something) that we’ve held onto more tightly than God.

As Paul Tripp so probingly asks, “How is your present disappointment, discouragement, or grief a window on what has actually captured your heart?” When we depend on anything smaller than God to provide us with the security, significance, meaning, and value that we long for, God will love us enough to take it away. Much of our anger and bitterness, therefore, is God prying open our hands and taking away something we’ve held onto more tightly than him.

Read the whole post.

Amazing Grace

2010-11-09T12:18:00.003-07:00

Our discussion in Bible study pointed out how abundant, overflowing and lavish God's grace is. I was reminded of this quote from Sinclair Ferguson:

“Being amazed by God’s grace is a sign of spiritual vitality. It is a litmus test of how firm and real is our grasp of the Christian gospel and how close is our walk with Jesus Christ. The growing Christian finds that the grace of God astonishes and amazes.”

- Sinclair B. Ferguson, By Grace Alone (Orlando, Fl.; Reformation Trust Publishing, 2010), xiv.

I am so thankful for the privilege of sitting every week over God's Word with other women who remind me and encourage me to be amazed at God's grace. May I be increasingly amazed and thankful.

Country Boys

2010-11-07T19:39:00.004-07:00

I have all sorts of serious posts that have been marinading in my brain for several weeks. I'm doing a Bible Study on Romans and it's giving me great food for thought, plus I've come across several very quote-worthy things that are further fodder for rumination. And yet, here I am, about to post 3 music videos. Country music videos at that.

First, I give you "Wild Montana Skies." This became one of my favorite songs while I was living in Philly. Don't take it personally, Philadelphia-ites, but the lack of blue skies, the lack of dramatic clouds, the small amount of sky that you got to see just made me long for MT skies. There is nothing like them, and I regularly catch my breath in awe of the dramatic skyscapes that I get to enjoy just looking out my front door, not to mention when I'm driving across the state. The other night, I had dinner with my parents and my dad thanked God in prayer for the beautiful sunset he'd been able to enjoy while loading stuff into his truck. I hope I never lose my sense of awe or my gratitude for our Wild Montana Skies.

Secondly, here's John Denver again singing the super-fun song "Thank God I'm a Country Boy." I can't wait until Titus (who is now technically a "full-term baby"!) is old enough to really appreciate time in the mountains. When he is and he's toddling around after his dad and grandpas, I'm going to make a music video of him to this song.

Finally, this came up as one of my suggested songs after I listened to "Thank God I'm a Country Boy." Whenever I hear songs like this, I think, "I should listen to more country music." I love how lighthearted, catchy and fun the song is. And I like that I got myself a bit of a country boy, one who keeps talking about putting "HLLBLLY" on the license plate... although it wouldn't fit very well with the rest of the look of his car.

Give it a listen and have yourself some fun :)

No One Righteous

2010-10-21T10:08:00.002-06:00

From James Montgomery Boice's commentary on Romans, volume 1. This is so me (he's writing on Romans 3:9-11):

The doctrine of total depravity is hard for the human race to accept, of course, for one of the results of our being sinners is that we tend to treat sin lightly. Most people are willing to admit that they are not perfect. It takes an extraordinary supply of arrogance for any mere human being to pretend that he or she has no flaws. Generally we do not do that. But this is far different from admitting that we are utterly depraved so far as our having any natural ability to please God is concerned. We are willing to admit that there are things not known to us, but not that we are devoid of all spiritual understanding. We are willing to admit that we wander off the true path at times, but not that we are not even on the right path. Instead of admitting that we are running away from God, we pretend that we are seeking him.

It is vitally important that we come to terms with this bad tendency to run from the truth about ourselves. Without an accurate knowledge of our sin, we will never come to know the meaning of God's grace. Without an awareness of our pride, we will never appreciate God's greatness, nor will we come to God for the healing we so desperately need. The situation is a bit like being sick or needing a doctor. As long as we are convinced we are well (or at least almost well), we will not seek medical care. But if we know we are spiritually sick, we will turn to the Great Physician, Jesus Christ, who alone is able to heal us.

pages 289-290

Putting Wonder and Meaning Back into Science

2010-10-08T12:41:00.002-06:00

I just finished reading the introduction to Vern Poythress' Redeeming Science, and this section really resonated with me. He is talking about how modern teaching of science is devoid of wonder and meaning for the students; he argues that wonder and meaning return when we see our study of science as part of a larger worldview in which we are seeking to understand the world we live in and our role as humans in that world. I think the same could be true for almost every other subject; from personal experience, I did not enjoy my studies of literature or history until I started to see them as part of a bigger picture and story.

It's kind of a long excerpt, but I think it's all necessary to make the whole point:

Science as now taught is influenced by an ideology of "objectivity" that may prefer to sweep under the rug the experience of personal fascination, delight, beauty, and mystery. Excitement is not communicated as it should be to each new generation, and so they do not see the point. Science gets reduced to a game in which we learn meaningless rules in order to solve artificial problems posed on teachers' tests. Or it is no more than a pragmatic tool by which we produce gadgets that bring comfort, entertainment, and status. Or, for those who excel in science, it is a platform for parading intellectual power and achievement. Where is a vision for the whole world that would draw us into an appreciation of the human significance of science?

My son has been studying conic sections in his high school math class. I think the subject is beautiful. But he does not; and he does not see the point. I asked him whether the teacher or textbook provided any justification or meaning for it. No. If the teacher were asked, he would say, "We are doing it because it is part of the curriculum." That evasion sounds like saying, "There is no real point, but only an arbitrary decision from the authorities who drew up the curriculum." Such lack of purpose does not produce a good learning atmosphere, despite the fact that the teacher himself has a genuine love for his subject and a commitment to his teaching.

My wife and I observed the trouble with our son much earlier. In about the third grade, he was studying biology by memorizing scientific terminology for the parts of the leaf or the divisions of the animal kingdom. He was not exploring how animals behave, but just memorizing. I was so appalled by the mauled vision of science that I felt like averting my eyes in shame. I found myself saying lamely, "This is not what real science is like. Real science means exploring and adventuring." And now with more maturity I might add, "And from time to time, after a long, exhausting climb, we catch a breathtaking glimpse of the beauty of God."

...

I am glad to say that later there were some high points in my son's science education. The sixth grade class set off toy rockets that went 500 feet into the air. The seventh grade took a field trip to a stream valley where they dug out shale and broke it open to find fossils.

We need to reform our thinking about science. And we need to do it in a global way, by tackling on a large scale our conception of what kind of world we live in and what is our human role in it. Western civilization has lost sight of any unified goal, except perhaps the superficial goals of pleasure, prosperity, and tolerance. We have lost our way as a civilization, and the universities have become multi-versities with no center. The grade schools are little better. The atmosphere says, "Work on these apparently meaningless assignments now, so that you will be able to go to college, get a good job, and live the American dream of a large home with two cars and a plasma screen TV." The malaise about science and its meaning is only part of a larger malaise of meaningless engulfing us."

Redeeming Science, 10-12

TKO

2010-09-21T19:59:00.003-06:00

This is a Thomas Keller Oreo.

This is HH trying the Thomas Keller Oreo.

We were in NYC and decided to have breakfast/brunch at Bouchon Bakery, which is about 5 blocks of my brother's apartment. It was fantastic. My brother says he's a big fan of the Thomas Keller Nutter Butters, which caught HH's eye just after I'd ordered the oreo. Guess we'll have to go back. We also never got to try the Momofuku Milk Bar, where I was hoping to get to try crack pie. Again, reason to go back!

This Is My Father's World

2010-09-13T17:05:00.002-06:00

Enjoyed this hymn at church on Sunday (also cool that we recognized two members of the worship band from the jazz band we'd paid to see at a club the night before)...

This is my Father's world, and to my listening ears

All nature sings, and round me rings the music of the spheres

This is my Father's world, I rest me in the thought

Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas, His hand the wonders wrought

This is my Father's world, the birds their carols raise

The morning light, the lily white, declare their Maker's praise

This is my Father's world, He shines in all that's fair

In the rustling grass I hear him pass, He speaks to me everywhere

This is my Father's world, O let me never forget

That though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet

This is my Father's world, the battle is not done

Jesus who died shall be satisfied, and earth and heaven be one

This is my Father's world, dreaming, I see His face

I open my eyes, and in glad surprise cry, "The Lord is in this place"

This is my Father's world, from the shining courts above

The Beloved One, His Only Son, came, a pledge of deathless love

This is my Father's world, should my heart be ever sad?

The Lord is King, let the heavens ring, God reigns, let the earth be glad

This is my Father's world, now closer to Heaven bound

For dear to God is the earth Christ trod, no place but is holy ground

You are not forgotten

2010-08-24T16:57:00.002-06:00

John Stumbo was the pastor at Salem Alliance church when he was featured as a keynote speaker at the 2008 Peacemaker Conference. Shortly after that, John was stricken with a mysterious illness that nearly killed him, and he is still in a long process of recovery (he finally regained his ability to swallow this spring; since he regained consciousness in early 2009, he had been living off of a feeding tube). His is a remarkable story. He's keeping a blog and I occasionally check in with it; here is a portion of a post that struck me deeply just now (emphases mine):

After a long day of writing, Jo and I jumped into our rental car and took a short drive. Destination: The Lost Forty. I hadn’t been there for twenty years, but I remembered a trail a few miles from the cabin that I wanted to rediscover. I missed a turn or two, but we soon found our way to the untouched forest. It was as beautiful as I remembered.

What I didn’t remember was the story behind the forest’s name. “The Lost Forty” is a forty acre piece of land that was never surveyed when the government was mapping out this region. Here’s the short story: In the 1880’s, Josiah A. King and his three person crew were living off of a dwindling food supply as they surveyed the region around Grand Rapids, MN. They weren’t quite done with their job, but winter was setting in. In his haste, Josiah marked a section of his map as a lake. In actuality it was a virgin forest. Lumber barons of the time were cutting down massive swaths of such forests. In fact today, only 2 percent of the old growth forests are left in MN. Since the “lost forty” land was marked as a lake, the saws of the barons were never sent to cut it down. As a result, 300-400 year old trees still stand. Josiah’s mistake became our blessing. Because it was forgotten, this forest with trees that are older than our nation survived.

Evidently there are times that being forgotten isn’t all bad.

Yet, after this week’s travels, I’ll say that I’m grateful to be remembered.

Through the prophet Isaiah God asked a vivid question to add emphasis to his point, Can a mother forget the baby at her breast? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. (49:15-16)

I assure you today, by the authority of the Word of God, that you are not forgotten. Your Father’s love for you is as fresh, alive, powerful and rich as it has ever been. He will never love you less and could not love you more.

He knows. He remembers. He sees.

And, if it feels somehow like you are overlooked or forgotten in this season—the soul’s equivalent to the “Lost Forty” forest—even that experience will turn out for good. Roots are growing deeper, old growth is being preserved, dangers averted and His plan being carried forward.

His memory is good. Really good. Rest in that assurance today.

simple chickpea salad... OR mmm, that was fast and tasty!

2010-08-23T18:33:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I'm amazed at how long it takes me to prepare a seemingly simple supper, and I'm even more amazed at how messy my kitchen gets and how many dirty dishes I make in the process.

Dinner tonight was the opposite. I started making dinner at about 5:50. Here we are at 6:30, and everything is prepared, eaten and 100% cleaned up. Feels good.

I started by rinsing and starting to cook some quinoa.

Then I cut a garden-fresh zucchini into wedges (lengthwise), drizzled some olive oil, salt and pepper on it and threw it on a medium-high grill.

While those things were cooking, I went to work on Molly of Orangette's Chickpea Salad with Lemon and Parmesan. I even happened to have half a lemon sitting in my fridge!

By the time I had the chickpeas rinsed and the parmesan grated, the zucchini was ready to be turned. By the time I had the chickpeas tossed with the olive oil, lemon juice, salt and parmesan, the zucchini was ready to come off the grill. I spread it out on a plate, squeezed the rest of the lemon over it, followed by a generous grating of parmesan. Then I shoved it to the side of the plate, mounded the now-cooked quinoa onto the plate (but not before tossing the quinoa with some s&p), and then piled the zucchini on top.

Dinner was the chickpea salad served beside, on top of, or mixed in with the quinoa and zucchini. There was just enough left over for it to be all tossed together for one of us to have for lunch tomorrow.

Do try out the Chickpea salad, either alone or with fast/easy accompaniments like this. It would make a perfect lunch for a harried mother of a newborn (am I projecting into my future? Yes!) with some crusty bread and maybe served over some spinach.

[I don't have a picture of dinner, so the picture is HH and Callie enjoying some post-work sun and margarita in the BEAUTIFUL evening weather. HH is off for a boys' poker night, so I'm going to make me a virgin margarita and go back out to enjoy the weather!]

"Salt"

2010-08-22T17:07:00.002-06:00

I've been working my way slowly through the book Salt: A World History, by Mark Kurlansky. When you have about 8 books going at once, it makes for slow progress through them all (but I finished What Did You Expect today -- yay!!!).

Anyway, here's a quote I found jotted down on a piece of paper from the beginning of the book and thought was worth sharing.

"The search for love and the search for wealth are always the two best stories. But while a love story is timeless, the story of a quest for wealth, given enough time, will always seem like the vain pursuit of a mirage." - Salt, 13.

What is the will of God for my life?

2010-08-19T21:00:00.001-06:00

I think Francis Chan hits a home run with this quote:

“I think a lot of us need to forget about God’s will for my life. God cares more about our response to his Spirit’s leading today, in this moment, than about what we intend to do next year. In fact, the decisions we make next year will be profoundly affected by the degree to which we submit to the Spirit right now, in today’s decisions. It is easy to use the phrase ‘God’s will for my life’ as an excuse for inaction or even disobedience. It’s much less demanding to think about God’s will for your future than it is to ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes. It’s safer to commit to following him someday instead of this day. To be honest I believe part of the desire to ‘know God’s will for my life’ is birthed in fear and results in paralysis.” (120)

God wants to listen to his Spirit on a daily basis, and even throughout the day, as difficult and as stretching moments arise, and in the midst of the mundane. My hope is that instead of searching for ‘God’s will for my life,’ each of us would learn to seek hard after ‘the Spirit’s leading in my life today.’” (120)

“The Spirit who raised Christ from the dead is not someone we can just call on when we want a little extra power in our lives. Jesus Christ did not die in order to follow us. He died and rose again so that we could forget everything else and follow him to the cross, to true Life.” (122)

- Francis Chan, Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit

HT: Vitamin Z

Tuesday Evening Thoughts While Eating Dinner and Watching the Sunset

2010-08-17T20:28:00.002-06:00

What a gorgeous evening to eat dinner on the back patio and watch a brilliantly orange and pink sunset light up the entire western sky!

As we were eating, I got to thinking...

We'll eat in heaven, right? Wedding feast of the lamb and all? I can't wait to be a foodie in heaven!
Will our taste buds be sanctified in heaven? Does that mean I'll like things that I currently can't stomach (like bananas)? Or is individual human taste part of the glorious diversity of creation?
Will we eat meat in heaven? Or will heaven be vegetarian? (Is eating meat part of the fall?)
Will we poop in heaven? Will it stink? (sorry guys, but that's where my mind goes.) What about flatulence? I think flatulence is a product of the fall, because something in your digestive system isn't working quite right.
What will mosquitoes eat? (This is a perpetual question of mine, but I just got CHEWED UP by mosquitoes on an attempted walk this evening. We called it off after a couple hundred yards because of the lack of bug spray, but by the time we got back to the car, I had at least 30 bites on my shoulders and neck. YUCK!)
Will food be fattening in heaven? I'm assuming it will be all organic and we won't have to worry about using preservatives and artificial colors to make it last longer and look pretty.

I dunno guys ... I guess I'm kind of hoping I get to be a foodie in heaven!

On Blind Spots

2010-08-16T08:47:00.000-06:00

Chris Brauns:

Stating the obvious, we don’t see blind spots. That’s why they’re called blind spots. So, rather than being defensive when someone points something out, let’s listen to advice and accept instruction – - that in the end we can be wise (Proverbs 19:20).

Proverbs 17:10 – A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fool. That is, a man of understanding doesn’t defensively deny blind spots when they come his way. He allows them to shape his character.

I want to be a woman of understanding.

The Lord's Prayer and Marriage

2010-08-14T20:29:00.002-06:00

Paul Tripp has a great section in What Did You Expect about the relationship between prayer and marriage. Specifically, he looks at how Christ taught us to pray, and what each portion of that prayer reminds us about marriage or does for our marriage.

He opens by saying, "In our marriage, prayer pushes us in all the right directions. It reminds us of the kinds of things we have said are so important to a marriage of unity, understanding and love. Daily prayer reinforces all the commitments we are tempted to forsake but that are vital to maintain. Prayer opens our eyes and our heart. Prayer is a necessary ingredient of a healthy marriage. On our knees is the best posture for our marriage" (WDYE 257)

Then he looks at each section of the Lord's Prayer (and I've included only a few snippets of his comments for each):

Our Father in heaven... "Prayer reminds you that in your marriage, you are never left alone to the resources of your own strength and wisdom ... when you forget God's presence, promises and provisions, either you tend to get overwhelmed and give up, or you try to do God's job. Neither is a workable option... Prayer reminds you that you have been graced with a Father's love and that love will not let you go until it has changed you in every way that is needed."

Hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. "Prayer reminds you that God's purpose for your marriage is always bigger than your marriage ... When there is no larger kingdom to unify a husband and wife, their marriage sadly becomes a war between the kingdom purposes of the wife and the kingdom purposes of the husband ... Prayer reminds you that God gives you his grace, not so much for the purposes of making your kingdom work but to welcome you to a better kingdom. Every time you pray, you are acknowledging God's rule over you and your life."

Give us this day our daily bread. "We were never hardwired for an independent, self-sufficient existence ... Daily prayer acknowledges daily need... If your marriage is to be a place where real unity, understanding, and love shape the character of every day, then there are things that you and your husband or wife need to be and do. But you can't become these things or do these things by yourself."

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. "As prayer calls you to celebrate undeserved love, it requires you to commit yourself to love others in the same way. There is a direct connection between self-righteousness and an inability and unwillingness to love others... A mutual commitment to give grace daily is the only hope for a marriage of a sinner to a sinner, which is the only kind of marriage there is. Prayer reminds us of God's call to love and forgive, and it reminds us that this call is most needed when it is most undeserved."

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. "Prayer reminds you that your biggest marital struggles exist inside, not outside, of you ... we are only hooked by the evil outside of us because of the evil inside of us... Change in a marriage always begins with looking within, and that is exactly where prayer calls us to look. The celebration of a Savior, which lies at the heart of prayer, makes sense only when we acknowledge that we cannot escape from the sin inside us."

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. "Prayer reminds you that the key to a marriage of unity, understanding, and love is rooted in an allegiance to God's kingdom and not your own. True, heartfelt prayer ends as it begins -- with recognition of God's kingship and his glory. Prayer reminds you that life is not about you. Prayer reminds you that the center of your universe is a place reserved for God and God alone. Prayer reminds you that real peace, satisfaction, and contentment come when you live for a greater glory than your own ... Prayer calls you away from the kingdom of self, which is so destructive to everything a marriage is intended to be, and welcomes you to the kingdom of God, where a God of love rules in love."

(quotes are from pages 257-265)

Getting to the Root of Critical Judgments

2010-08-12T11:30:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking lately about what roots produce certain fruit in my heart. Here's a part of a Peacemaker Ministries article that describes some of sins that are at the root of critical judgments of others:

A key step in breaking free from the habit of making critical judgments is to trace them to their source and cut them off at the root. To do this you must deal with your heart. James 4:1-12 describes two of the most common sources of critical judgments. The first is selfishness. When others stand in the way of what we want, we strive to remove their opposition by tearing them down and diminishing their credibility and influence in any way we can (vv. 1-3).

Pride is another source of critical judgments. Thinking that we are better than others, we set ourselves up as their judges and begin to catalog their failings and condemn their actions. As we saw earlier, when we do this we are imitating Satan by trying to play God (vv. 7, 12). Pride can also reveal itself in the inclination to believe that “I alone understand the truth about things.” I think that my beliefs, convictions, theology, and doctrines are true, and I look down on anyone who disagrees with me (cf. Gal. 5:26).

Matthew 7:3-5 shows that self-righteousness is another root of critical judgments. When we have done something wrong but we do not want to admit it, one of the most natural things we do is to draw attention to and even magnify the failures of others.

Insecurity, which is a form of the fear of man, is a related root of this problem. When we lack confidence in our own beliefs and positions, and fear that they might be disproved, we often conclude that the best defense is a good offense. Therefore, we attack others’ views and judge them before they can judge us.

Jealousy can also lead to critical judgments. As we see in Genesis 37:11, Joseph’s brothers were jealous of his close relationship with God and his father, and they repeatedly interpreted his motives and actions in the worst possible way. As their jealousy grew, it culminated in their selling him into slavery.

Another cause is self-pity. On occasion, many of us find a perverse pleasure in feeling sorry for ourselves. Therefore, we tend to interpret situations in a way that hurts us the most. One of the best ways to do this is to interpret others’ actions as a form of betrayal.

Prejudice is frequently a cause of critical judgments. When we have preconceived, unfavorable opinions about others simply because of their race, religion, gender, or status in life, we will consistently seek to validate our views by interpreting their beliefs and actions negatively.

Unforgiveness can also lead us to look for the worst in others. If someone has hurt us, and we do not forgive him, we will look for ways to justify our unforgiveness. Finding more faults in the person who hurt us is a convenient way to conceal the hardness of our own heart.

Of course, the ultimate source of critical judgments is a lack of love. Where love is deficient, critical judgments will be the norm. Conversely, where love abounds, charitable judgments should abound (1 Cor. 13:4-7).

Read the whole article: Charitable Judgments: An Antidote to Judging Others

Grace

2010-08-11T11:27:00.003-06:00

There's some good stuff out there on the Interwebs right now. This piece on grace by Paul Tripp is one of them.

So grace is a story and grace is a gift. It is God's character and it is your only hope. Grace is a transforming tool and a state of relationship. Grace is a beautiful theology and a wonderful invitation. Grace is a life-long experience and a life-changing calling. Grace will turn your life upside down while giving you a rest you have never known. Grace will require you to face your unworthiness without ever making you feel unloved.

Read the whole thing.

Ye Shall Reap What Ye Have Sown

2010-08-05T09:21:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about reaping what we have sown.

I know a man who has sown a lifetime of selfishness in various (often subtle) ways. He is now in a position where circumstances no longer permit him to sow in selfishness, and the harvest he is reaping is one of becoming increasingly frustrated and bitter at his environment and the people whom he perceives to be getting in his way.

One would like to think that he will gradually adapt to his new reality, but I'm not so sure. What if he's so conditioned his heart to finding satisfaction in his selfish little modes that he simply can't find satisfaction elsewhere (even if it's in things that matter more)? Enter the downward spiral into increasing bitterness and anger. (Apart from an intervention by Grace, of course.)

Despite the incredible discomfort that creates for the people around him, I am often tempted to say that he is getting what he deserves. He is reaping what he has sown.

And yet.

I heard a preacher on the radio years ago speaking on a similar subject. He was talking about the story of the paralyzed man whose friends carried him to Jesus for healing. The world around us has a saying that could apply to this man: "You made your bed, now lie in it." Isn't this just another way of saying that you are reaping what you have sown?

But Jesus didn't say this to the man, and I have had this unknown preacherman's words swirling in my head for years: "Jesus didn't say to the man, 'You made your bed, now lie in it.' Instead, Jesus said, 'Take up your mat and walk.'"

There is certainly biblical wisdom and truth in recognizing that we reap what we sow. But the good news is that grace wins over justice. On the cross, Jesus reaped what I've sown. In exchange, I get to enjoy an incredibly rich, bountiful harvest that I didn't sow.

"When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery." Deuteronomy 6:10-12

Christians are connected people

2010-07-26T15:52:00.001-06:00

I just read this in a missionary's newsletter and really liked it:

"The church is mean to be a God-formed community of people who have abandoned the notion that life can and should lived in isolation. Christians are connected people -- connected with each other by God the Father, through God the Son, in God the Spirit. This is why we make a difference in our community by being different community-Christians working with other Christians, churches with other churches."

Tulian Tchividjian, Unfashionable

I Like

2010-07-26T12:49:00.003-06:00

Here are a few things I'm particularly liking right now:

Cool mountain air. We spent a few days this weekend in the mountains, and there's just nothing like fresh, clear, cool mountain air. Since I can't have that all the time, though, I'll vote for air conditioning as a close second.
Cooking again, and even (usually) having an appetite for that food.
San Pellegrino orange and lemon sodas.
My slow-cooker; that poor implement has been neglected for too long. I'm cooking some black beans in it right now that will be the base of several recipes this week. Tomorrow I'm planning to turn a couple of chicken carcasses into stock (saved in the freezer since the days weeks ago when I couldn't stand the smell or sight of food, let alone the smell of chicken stock permeating my whole house).
My husband. Time and time again I'm blown away that I married such an amazing man who blesses me with doing the dishes, making lunch when I'm too tired to get off the couch, backrubs, wonderful conversation that can range from silly to deep in just seconds, maintaining our house and running to the store to satisfy a sudden craving.
The artwork of Yuko Lao. I started looking around for ideas for decorating the nursery and was so taken with her art that I decided to go with it. Here's the monkey painting that first caught my eye (I ordered 5 different prints last night!)

Thai Chicken Satay

2010-07-25T20:59:00.002-06:00

I will betray my bias right away: if anything has "peanut sauce" in the name or description, I automatically give it 4.5 out of 5 stars. There's just something about peanut sauce. This ranks right up there with the best peanut sauces that I have made.

I was feeling uninspired for meals for the week (and I'm actually not very accustomed to having to plan a week's worth of meals, since I've hardly cooked since March), so I pulled out a few cookbooks for inspiration. I decided that this recipe from my Williams Sonoma Food Made Fast: Weeknight cookbook looked too good wait for the week.

I'll give you the recipe in a minute, but first I'll tell you how I served it. The recipe recommends serving the satays over a simple salad of lettuce and cucumber slices, but I wanted something more substantial. So I boiled up some whole wheat spaghetti and tossed some of the sauce with the cooled spaghetti, cucumber slices, snow peas and a little green onion. It made a great, light base for the satays, and I made enough that we'll have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Yay!

This is definitely a 'keeper' recipe for me -- something to revisit on another lazy summer evening when I want an easy, fresh-tasting meal that won't heat up my kitchen. (Oh, and it went great with margaritas, even pregnant-lady wannabe margaritas.)

Thai Chicken Satay

2 large limes
1/2 cup rice vinegar
1/3 cup chunky peanut butter
1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1 tablespoon ginger, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons light brown sugar, firmly packed
1 tablespoon Asian sesame oil
4 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves, cut into thin strips

Marinate the chicken. Place 8 bamboo skewers in cold water to soak until ready to use. Grate 1 teaspoon zest from the limes and squeeze 1/4 cup juice. In a glass or ceramic bowl, whisk together the lime zest and juice, vinegar and peanut butter until smooth. Stir in the cilantro, ginger, garlic, soy sauce, brown sugar, and sesame oil. Reserve about 1/2 cup of the mixture in a separate bowl for use as a sauce. Add the chicken to the marinade and turn to coat. Let stand at room temperature for at least 10 minutes, or cover and refrigerate for up to 2 hours.

Cook the chicken. Meanwhile, prepare a gas or charcoal grill for direct-heat grilling over medium-high heat and oil the grill rack. Or, preheat a broiler. When ready to cook, remove the chicken from the marinade, discarding the marinade (I kept it around long enough to spoon some marinade over the skewers after I'd put them on the grill). Divide the strips among the skewers, threading the strips on lengthwise. Place the skewers on the grill rack, or put them on a baking sheet and place under the broiler. Cook, turning once, until seared on the outside and opaque throughout, about 6 minutes total.

[If serving as a salad, as recommended in the recipe, divide 1 small head of shredded romaine lettuce, cucumber slices, and chicken skewers among 4 plates. Drizzle with some of the reserved sauce and serve, passing additional sauce at the table.]

Vietnamese Iced Coffee

2010-07-22T20:40:00.003-06:00

I've been getting sooooo tired in the afternoons and end up spending most of the afternoon fighting the urge to go out and get a fancy, sweet (and expensive) coffee drink. Or, not fighting that urge as the case sometimes turns out to be.

So I was excited when my August issue of Food and Wine had a recipe for Vietnamese iced coffee that I thought I could maybe make ahead and bring to the office for when that afternoon coffee urge struck. Turns out, I'm now making coffee for two. No, not for me and Titus, sillies (yes, it's a boy!), but for me and HH.

I think you should make it, too, whether for one, two, or for a crowd.

Vietnamese-style iced coffee

Make the cold-brew concentrate: In a bowl, stir 4 1/2 cups cold water into 1/2 pound coarsely-ground dark-roast coffee (I used half decaf and half regular, mostly because I'm trying to be a little caffeine-conscious in my current state). Cover and let stand at room temperature for 24 hours; strain. (The concentrate can be refrigerated for up to one week.)

Make the iced coffee: Pour 2 ounces sweetened condensed milk into a tall glass. Add 6 ounces cold-brew concentrate and 4 ounces milk. Stir well. Top with ice.

Try it, if you're a coffee drinker, I think you'll like it!

I can't help it...

2010-07-16T16:10:00.002-06:00

I have been sucked in by Old Spice's viral marketing campaign, and I love it. I hope somebody does a PhD dissertation on the thought-process behind this campaign, the speed with which they began responding to people, and what it was that struck such a nerve with people ... and, will it sell more Old Spice?

In the meantime, check some of them out if you haven't yet (I read somewhere that 8 of the top 11 videos on YouTube this week were Old Spice vids, so they won't be hard to find).

"Because if that Zeppelin crashes into thatBacon Factory, all of us will be without bacon and that simply will not do."

The "dark benefits" of Unforgiveness

2010-07-14T11:02:00.004-06:00

I'm cross-posting this from something I posted on the Peacemaker blog on Monday. I think it's a powerful, convicting and sobering look into our hearts when we refuse to forgive.

**************

I’ve been reading through Paul Tripp’s book What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, and he has some thoughts on forgiveness that I thought were very profound. Having laid out some of the blessings/benefits of forgiveness, Tripp asks, “Why don’t people just forgive?” He then points out that “the sad reality is that there is short-term, relationally destructive power in refusing to forgive. Holding onto our spouse’s wrongs gives us the upper hand in our relationship” (page 90).

I think it’s worth listing the “dark benefits” that Tripp delineates so that we can examine ourselves and find where we are seeking to reap those benefits rather than taking the healthy, God-glorifying, servant-hearted approach of forgiveness.

Debt is power. There is power in having something to hold over another’s head. There is power in using a person’s weakness and failure against him or her. In moments when we want our own way, we pull out some wrong against our spouse as our relational trump card.

Debt is identity. "Holding onto our spouse’s sin, weakness, and failure makes us feel superior to our spouse. It allows us to believe that we are more righteous and mature than our spouse. We fall into the pattern of getting our sense of self not by what God has called us to be and do but by comparing ourselves to our spouse. This pattern plays into the self-righteousness that is the struggle of every sinner."

Debt is entitlement. "Because of all our spouse’s wrongs against us, he or she owes us. Carrying our spouse’s wrongs makes us feel deserving and therefore comfortable with being self-focused and demanding. ‘After all I have had to endure in relationship with you, don’t I deserve…?”

Debt is weaponry. The sins and failures that our spouse has done against us that we still carry around with us are like a loaded gun; it is very tempting to pull them out and use them when we are angry. When our wife has hurt us in some way, it is very tempting to hurt her back by throwing in her face just how evil and immature she is."

Debt puts us in God’s position. "It is the one place that we must never be, but it is also a position that all of us have put ourselves in. We are not the judge of our spouse. We are not the one who should dispense consequences for our spouse’s sin. It is not our job to make sure he feels the appropriate amount of guilt for what he has done. But it is very tempting to ascend to God’s throne and to make ourselves judge."

(What Did You Expect, 90-91)

Tripp concludes, “This is nasty stuff.” I agree!

Dancing in the Minefields

2010-07-13T14:46:00.003-06:00

I have been enjoying this song/video all day.

"This is harder than I dreamed but that's what the Promise is for."

Here are the lyrics to the bridge:

So when I lose my way, find me
And when I loose love’s chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith to the end of all my days
When I forget my name, remind me

We bear the light of the Son of Man
So there’s nothing left to fear,
So I’ll walk with you in the shadowlands
Till the shadows disappear

Because he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of all this chaos,
Baby, I can dance with you.

HT: JT

Family Meals...Something to Think About

2010-07-12T17:43:00.003-06:00

Professor Phillip Zimbardo:

"They did this study 20 years ago... only 60% of Americans said they had regular sit-down family dinners. When we re-did the study last year, only one in five [20%] American families had sit-down dinners together. In America, we talk about family values. You can't have family values if you don't have family meals together."

Link Love

2010-07-09T20:38:00.002-06:00

I thought I'd share with you a couple of blogs that I've been particularly enjoying lately:

In the food category, check out Cheap, Healthy Good. The name says it all. My recent panzanella epiphany (we had it again tonight and HH said that he thinks he could eat it every day -- "it's like bruschetta in a bowl!") came from CHG.

In the life category, check out Ali's African Adventures. It's not a new blog by any means, but I've recently become a more consistent reader. Ali is a nurse with Mercy Ships and she tells remarkable and deep, yet joy-filled and humorous stories of the way God is using her as his hands and feet in serving the immense physical needs of the African continent. Her post today, "Bright Eyes" is a great example of her writing.

In the theology (and some misc.) category, Take Your Vitamin Z is great. He digests a lot of other stuff that's out there on the web and adds in touches of humor, sports and music.

In friends, I'm sure most of you read Addie's blog The Softer Side of Cynical, but just in case you don't, let me introduce you. Addie is brilliant, funny, honest and thoughtful. What's not to love?

And now, a story for you inspired by Addie's post on the 4th of July fireworks: I was at a work-related BBQ last night and a man from the middle of Wyoming was telling us about the Independence Day celebrations where he's from. "It's got the highest rate of fireworks purchases per capita in the country!" he said. (I'm not sure if this was conjecture or an actual statistic.) "Everybody buys hundreds of dollars work of big fireworks -- and the policemen buy twice as much because the fireworks stands give them a discount -- and starting at about 11:00 in the morning, they're blowing them off. And there's no 'open container law' on the 4th, so people are wandering around in the streets with their open containers all day."

Now, where I'm from (the nexus of MT/WY culture), cultural commentary like this would go unspoken: it would be like a fish trying to describe water. Of course you buy big fireworks. Of course you, um, imbibe all day while blowing them off. Why the big eyes while I'm telling you this?

"You're not a Wyoming native, are you?" I queried. Nope, he's from Oregon.

I knew it! I love my roots :)

"Your Hands"

2010-07-06T11:52:00.001-06:00

I enjoyed this song this morning:

K-LOVE - JJ Heller "Your Hands" LIVE from K-LOVE Radio on Vimeo.

Saw it here.

Panzenella: This was delicious

2010-07-03T22:29:00.004-06:00

Familiarize yourself with this word, because you might be hearing it from me a lot over the next few months. "Panzanella." Panzanella, panzanella, panzanella.

Sort of sounds like a fairy tale character -- oh wait, that's Cinderella. I bet Cinderella isn't as tasty as Panzanella.

The blog Cheap Healthy Good posted this a few days ago and I immediately bookmarked it. Got the chance to make it tonight, and it was delicious. In fact, for only four of us eating, I expected that we'd have leftovers, but I have just the tiniest little bowl of leftovers. HH's second helping was basically a heaping plate full, even if he wasn't wild about the olives and left a little pile of them in the corner of his plate. I'm generally not wild about olives so I didn't use as many as the recipe called for, but I think they really added something here.

There are apparently all sorts of recipes out there for panzanella, but this is a great one to start with -- it was simple and the flavors really come together nicely. I served it with grilled shrimp and a spinach salad; I would have liked mine with a nice glass of red wine, but sparkling lemonade worked fine, too.

Do yourself a favor and make this! (Just make sure you get some good vine-ripened tomatoes or, better yet, when you start pulling tomatoes out of your garden later this summer.)

Summer Panzanella

serves 4

1 loaf crusty whole wheat French or Italian Bread (about 8 cups) [MEF: I used a whole wheat loaf that we had most of leftover from dinner last night; it didn't have quite the structure of a hearty Italian loaf, but it worked)
4 tomatoes, diced (seeding is optional) [My tomatoes were small, so I used quite a few -- maybe 10 or 12?]
4 ounces part-skim mozzarella, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
1/2 medium red onion, thinly sliced
1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, chiffonaded (cut into ribbons)
2/3 cup pitted kalamata olives, chopped
1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon olive oil
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Balsamic vinaigrette (optional)

1) Preheat oven to 350°F.

2) Fill a small bowl with ice water. Soak red onions ten minutes. Drain.

3) Slice bread in half lengthwise. Place on a baking sheet and bake 5 to 10 minutes, until crisp. Remove and let cool a little. When cool enough to handle, cut into 1-inch cubes. Set aside.

4) To a large serving bowl, add tomatoes, mozzarella, red onion, basil leaves, and olives. Pour red wine vinegar and olive oil over mixture. Stir to combine. [MEF: I let this part marinate in the fridge for several hours]

5) Add bread to bowl. Stir thoroughly to combine. Let sit 30 minutes to marinate, stirring once about halfway through. Salt and pepper to taste. Stir again. Serve immediately with vinaigrette if you like OR store it in the fridge for a day or two, then serve.

Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls: Healthy AND Delicious?

2010-07-02T09:54:00.002-06:00

Is it possible? I'm happy to report that, YES, it is! HH had a couple of friends over this morning to watch the World Cup, and when he mentioned the idea a few days ago, I told him that I *might* be able to make them a morning treat.

Last night, I googled "Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls" and this was the first hit. I decided to give it a try, and boy am I glad that I did! These were pillowy soft, melted in your mouth, and sweet-but-not-too sweet. I never would have guessed that the dough was 100% whole wheat and the dough (tho not the filling or the frosting) was sweetened with honey. I'm not opposed to using white flour and sugar when necessary, but it sure is nice to have more wholesome options available, especially when you can still get rave reviews :)

Here's the recipe, with my modifications:

Whole Wheat Cinnamon Rolls

1 c. water
2 T. yeast
2 t. honey
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup honey
4 t. sea salt
8+ cups whole wheat flour

Ingredients for the “innerds” of your cinnamon rolls:

1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 T. ground cinnamon

Melt your butter and set it aside. Mix together the sugar and cinnamon in a bowl. (I ended up using more brown sugar and cinnamon -- in the future, I will probably not bother pre-mixing them but just sprinkle the sugar on top of the butter and sprinkle cinnamon on top.)

Ooey-Gooey Frosting
1/4 cup butter
3 T milk
1/2 t. vanilla
1-2 cups powdered sugar to make the consistency you like

Melt butter. Remove from heat and stir in vanilla, milk and powdered sugar. Whisk together until smooth. (I only had 1 c. powdered sugar in the house, and it wasn't thick enough for my tastes. The frosting sort of turned into a glaze and absorbed into the warm rolls. Cream cheese frosting next time?)

Okay, here’s how to make the dough…
In a large bowl (I used my stand mixer), mix 1 cup very warm water, 2 T. yeast and 2 t. honey. Stir this together and kind of mush the yeast around. Let this sit for a few minutes while you do the next step.

Melt a stick of butter in a large saucepan. Add 1/2 cup honey, 4 t. salt and 2 1/2 cups of milk. Heat this to 120 degrees.

Pour milk mixture into yeast mixture and stir. Stir in 8 cups of flour, 2 cups at a time. (add more if you need it -- I probably added at least another 1/2 cup of flour.)

Knead the dough for 5-10 minutes. Plop it into a bowl, cover it and let it rise for 1-1 1/2 hours.

After dough is nice and fat, punch it down and knead out all it’s bubbles. Cut the dough in half, setting one half aside.

On a well floured surface, roll dough into a nice big rectangle, about 1/4 inch thick. Use a pastry brush to spread 1/2 of the melted butter all over the rectangle. Sprinkle 1/2 of the sugar/cinnamon mixture all over the butter.

Roll up the dough, cut into thin slices, about 1/2 inch thick. Place rolls side by side on baking pan (I sprayed the pans with Pam because I wasn't sure if they'd stick). Repeat process with other 1/2 of dough.

At this point, you can allow dough to rise about 30 minutes, then bake. I covered the pans (two 13x9 pans) and saran wrap and let them sit in the fridge overnight. This morning, HH let them sit on the counter for about an hour before baking.

Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown at 350 degrees.

Allow rolls to cool a bit, then drizzle lots and lots of ooey-gooey frosting all over them.

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes

2010-07-01T11:32:00.002-06:00

I've loved this song ever since I first discovered Garfunkel-less-Paul-Simon sometime in college. I got to see Ladysmith Black Mambazo perform this a few years ago, but I must say I do like having Paul Simon in it.

You Gotta Fix Your Identity Vertically

2010-06-24T10:08:00.002-06:00

Speaking of Paul Tripp on marriage, Vitamin Z posted an excerpt from an interview with Tripp.

Here's my favorite part; you could spend a lifetime just building a relationship on this:

Being a worshiper means that you attach your identity, meaning and purpose, and your inner sense of well-being to something. You either get these things vertically (from the Creator) or you look to get them horizontally (from the creation). This insight has everything to do with how a marriage becomes what it is. No marriage will be unaffected when the people in the marriage are seeking to get from the creation what they were only ever meant to get from the Creator.

The Need for Self-Control in Marriage

2010-06-22T20:38:00.003-06:00

I've had a lot of things I've intended to blog for the last month, plus, but I just haven't worked up the initiative to make it happen. I hope to get more consistent again now that I seem to have survived the worst of my morning sickness and am starting to enter the land of the living again.

To reintroduce myself to you, I'll quote some Paul Tripp. I've really been enjoying his book What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.

Here's a quote I particularly appreciated (I won't say 'enjoyed' because enjoyment doesn't really seem to connote any elements of conviction, does it?):

Serving in love means being committed to the daily exercise of self-control. A good marriage is always the result of saying no, not to the other person but to yourself. If you want to damage your marriage, go wherever your desires and emotions lead you. In heated moments of disagreement, in painful moments of disappointment, and in disheartening moments of hurt, you will be tempted to do and say things that are not only wrong but will also add to the trouble you are already experiencing. Disagreement is hard, but it does not have to degenerate into personal war. Disappointment is hard, but it does not have to give way to personal attack. It is painful when you have been hurt, but to lash back is never a step toward reconciliation. There may be no more needed character quality in marriage than self-control. It is the constant willingness to critique your thoughts, edit your words, and restrain your behavior out of love for your spouse and love for what is right. Self-control means you simply won't give yourself permission to get down and dirty. You will take the time that you need to be in a place where you can speak and act with love, wisdom, grace, and gentleness, and be committed to unity, understanding, and peace. What Did You Expect, 126.

Quick Friday Thoughts

2010-05-14T14:57:00.004-06:00

I have a couple of great quotes that I want to share from a new book I'm reading called What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, but not right now. I'm going to blame my lack of motivation on pregnancy. Every pregnancy's different: you can't tell me I *can't* blame it on le bebe in my belly!

Anyway, here are a few quick Friday thoughts for you:

What Did You Expect really is a great book. You should read it. Except if you haven't been married for more than, say, 5 or 7 years, I'd recommend that you read Dave Harvey's When Sinners Say I Do. It's still my #1 marriage book.
Speaking of Dave Harvey, he has a new book out called Rescuing Ambition. I ordered it yesterday and can't wait to dive into it. I think HH will particularly like it and would have saved it to give him for Father's Day, but he won't be here.
Speaking of HH, he has several links on his blog to some Tim Keller sermons that he's really been appreciating. I'm going to add them to my ipod when I get the motivation :p
I am listening to Stereomood.com right now and really liking it. You pick a mood, and they pick your playlist. Right now, I'm listening to "melancholy."
My parents have a houseful of guests right now! They are still in the process of finishing their basement, and they are already welcoming people into it (and they've filled the upstairs with as many parties as I can count on my fingers in the few months that they've lived there). I'm so blessed by their generosity and their example.
Did I ever mention that my parents lived with us for several months last fall while they were in transition? Yep, 4 adults and 5 dogs under our roof. You know what? It was great. Again, I'm ridiculously blessed to be able to enjoy living with my parents at my ripe old age, and that I have a husband who also enjoyed it.
Okay, so, all the cliches about pregnancy? They're true. The uber-sensitive sense of smell (when was the last time I opened my fridge and didn't gag? Before Easter), the myriad of gastrointestinal issues (I'll let you google specifics, but basically if you can imagine a stomach-related malady, it's a pregnancy side effect), the hormonal mood swings, the total exhaustion. If I had the energy and the motivation, I'd write the blog post that's been bumping around in my head about I'm seeing a grumbling/complaining side of myself that I hadn't quite realized was lurking beneath the surface of my mostly-comfortable life. I suspect this bit of self-discovery is just the beginning.
I thoroughly enjoyed this video of a mama bear rescuing her cub from a tree. May you enjoy it, too, and have a great weekend!

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Subsistence Living: Orange Smoothies

2010-05-08T15:44:00.003-06:00

Well, the blog has been pretty silently lately because I've mostly been focused on surviving. You see, I've been suffering for the last month from this little thing called "morning sickness," and it's been kicking my butt. Hence, not a lot of thinking, not a lot of eating, and definitely no cooking (and so my soup blog has gone dormant). It's okay, though! It's for a good reason, and there is an end in sight! (Hopefully the sickness part ends sooner than the next seven months.)

Here's a recipe for you, though; this is what I've been living on when I can't keep anything else down and/or when nothing else sounds good. It's kind of a healthy riff on the fantastic and delicious Orange Julius. All quantities are approximate; I just kind of blob stuff into the blender, and it tastes a little different every time.

Orange Smoothie (serves 1 preggo)

3 Tbsp frozen orange juice concentrate
1/2 c. plain yogurt
3/4 c. orange juice (go for the calcium-enriched stuff for a little extra "developing teeth and bones boost," especially if your vitamins are making you throw up)
1 Tbsp sugar
1 heaping teaspoon soy protein powder (add much more and it will affect the flavor and texture, but every little bit helps, right?)
dash of vanilla extract
1/2 c. ice

1. Combine all ingredients in blender.
2. Blend thoroughly.
3. Drink and enjoy (and hope it stays down).

The Mighty Quinn... and Crazy Japanese Game Shows

2010-04-30T16:38:00.003-06:00

No reason for posting this other than that the song popped into my head, and I've always thought it was a catchy, fun tune.

Also, I just told my boss (the VP of our International Division) about how crazy Japanese game shows are (I considered it my duty as part of our international division to introduce him to this important cross-cultural phenomenon). Are you on the Japanese game show bandwagon? If not, watch this one (a classic) and prepare yourself for several hours of clicking on links and ensuing hilarity.

Wait, and this one, too, where they have to say a tongue twister without messing up. Or else. Sorry if this is offensive to anyone... sort of. Not really, nevermind.

"The List:" What I Should Have Wanted in a Husband

2010-04-27T17:15:00.001-06:00

I've been thinking lately about the lists girls make of qualities they daydream about in a future husband. I had one of those lists in high school, and it was populated with great qualities like, "tall," "dark," "handsome," "athletic," "good sense of humor," and (of course) "Christian."

Now that I've been married for nearly two years and we have a few bumps and bruises under our belts, I've come to appreciate qualities in HH in some unexpected ways. Allow me to make a few suggestions to all the single ladies out there: here are some qualities you should really look for in a husband.

Does he delight in serving? Not just serving you (and not just to impress you, so watch out for those first few months!), but does he serve others as well? Does he see needs and meet them proactively and joyfully? Oh, it is such a Gospel-filled delight to be totally undeserving and to be served by someone who loves you selflessly.
Is he broken about his sin? He will sin; you will sin. You both will sin generally, and you will sin in shocking ways against each other. Does he grieve over his sin? You'll know if he does, because he will be quick and thorough in repentance of his own sin; and he will be quick and tender in granting you forgiveness for yours.
How does he respond to criticism? I'm talking about criticism from you, as well as from others. Does he (eventually) see it as redemptive? Or is he defensive and angry? Get this: God will call you, as his wife, to be a corrective voice in his life time and time again. He will either come to see you as a nag ("It is better to live on the corner of a roof than with a quarrelsome wife" ) or as his most trusted and blessed voice of reason (hint: you'll both benefit if it's the latter).
How does he criticize? How does he criticize you, and how does he criticize others? Is he harsh and biting? Does he love you enough to correct you at all? Lately I've noticed several men in the digital world who sound sarcastic, bitter and mean-spirited in their criticism of others (all brothers in Christ); my first thought both times has been, "I'm so glad I'm not married to them!" I believe that in the manner that they criticize others, they will also criticize their wives in times of anger or frustration.
Does he seek help from others? Does he actually listen to and heed their advice? Is he building relationships with peers and more mature men who can help him when he's stuck -- this applies to career, finances, conflict, even instilling a dishwasher or planning a vacation. You will both need help in your marriage; sometimes a 30-minute conversation will be enough to get you back on track. Will you and he get that help quickly and from the right people? One step further: will he take the lead in getting that help? I am both broken and blessed when he humbly seeks help for problems that that have barely even started to rear their ugly heads (even while I'm still in denial).
Does he strive to be a good steward? This includes not just his/your money and other resources, but of time, relationships and talents. Does he take care of his home and car and use them in a way that not only ensures that they last, but that blesses others? How does he feel when you disagree with him about purchasing a "luxury" item?
Does that good stewardship involve being generous? A generous heart reflects Our Father's generous heart (and I'm not connecting generosity with wealth; generosity is a heart attitude regardless of how deep your pockets are). You will be blessed by his generosity, and you will be blessed as you both are able to serve others through generosity.
How is his relationship with his family? Is it strained? If yes, does that grieve him? Does he desire to build a good relationship with your family, one in which you both can honor and serve and enjoy your family? I am so blessed that we enjoy delightful relationships with both families; I realize that this isn't always possible, but there is a posture by a husband that I think facilitates this type of relationship.
Have you seen him submit? If you read Scripture like I do (it's okay if you don't read it just like I do), you believe that you are called to submit to your husband. He's not the head of your relationship, though; God is. He is called to submit to God and while that is hard to measure, have you seen him submit to anyone (e.g. your father, an employer, a pastor) in something he doesn't necessarily want to do? It's much easier to submit to a husband whom you believe is actively submitting to God and who is (healthily) distrustful of his own motivations.
Is he aware of the major areas in which he struggles? And, does he have a plan for growing in those areas? Again, the question is not if, but how he will struggle. God calls us all, as pilgrims, to walk in faith, which involves daily repentance and grasping hold of his grace. When you marry, you are choosing to partake in your husband's struggles (and he in yours); the Help that he offers you will only come from the help that he is actively experiencing from his Savior.

"Tall, dark and handsome" is great (I got them, too!), but they will quickly fade or become irrelevant. Look for these, and I think you will see the sweetness of your union with your beloved just increase with every year the Lord gives you together.

Francis Chan and the Balance Beam

2010-04-22T16:32:00.002-06:00

I saw this video and it was a good challenge for me. My tendency is to hug the beam, but God in his wisdom and grace pushes me to be a little more daring; and he's also given me a husband who pushes me in that direction.

"Save Me"

2010-04-21T21:37:00.002-06:00

From Eugene Peterson, Praying With the Psalms for April 22. I love the simplicity of this:

Save me, O God, by your name,
and vindicate me by your might.
Hear my prayer, O God;
give ear to the words of my mouth.
Psalm 54:1-2

"Save me" is the most elemental prayer. It is at the heart of biblical religion. It joins human need with God's action in Jesus, whose name means, literally, "The Lord Saves."

Man of Sorrows

2010-04-02T22:03:00.001-06:00

I was hoping we would sing this at our Good Friday service, and we did!

Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

Brother's Keeper

2010-04-01T17:10:00.004-06:00

Justin posted this great Rich Mullins song this morning, and I thought it was worth posting the lyrics as well as adding the YouTube video I found of him singing it. Lyrics are below; I bolded my favorites :)

Now the plumber's got a drip in his spigot
The mechanic's got a clank in his car
And the preacher's thinking thoughts that are wicked
And the lover's got a lonely heart
My friends ain't the way I wish they were
They are just the way they are

And I will be my brother's keeper
Not the one who judges him
I won't despise him for his weakness
I won't regard him for his strength
I won't take away his freedom
I will help him learn to stand
And I will ~ I will be my brother's keeper

Now this roof has got a few missing shingles
But at least we've got ourselves a roof
And they say that she's a fallen angel
I wonder if she recalls when she last flew
There's no point in pointing fingers
Unless you're pointing to the truth

And I will be my brother's keeper
Not the one who judges him
I won't despise him for his weakness
I won't regard him for his strength
I won't take away his freedom
I will help him learn to stand
And I will ~ I will be my brother's keeper

Death be not proud, by John Donne

2010-03-31T21:31:00.001-06:00

Classic Easter poetry:

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Get Excited About Celebrating Easter

2010-03-30T13:34:00.002-06:00

I remember studying the theology of the resurrection during my last year of seminary, and the earth-shattering good news of the resurrection made Easter so special for me that year.

Easter should be a big deal to me every year; a good argument could be made that it is the most important day in the Christian calendar.

Here are some great quotes from Mark Driscoll on why (thanks to Adrian Warnock for pointing them out):

Easter is a time to boldly, loudly, passionately, gladly, and publicly proclaim the resurrection of Jesus Christ! ... Hearing the good news of Jesus is something your people will delight in if the Holy Spirit resides in them, so make it plain. They know you will tell them Jesus is alive, they are coming to hear it, and it sounds good every time, much like a wife whose husband often tells her he loves her and is devoted to her—she never tires of hearing it and rejoices every time.

and

So, it is imperative that you intentionally set aside some sacred silence and solitude time to get with Jesus and remember his death, burial, and resurrection in place of sin for salvation. During that time it is good to read your Bible, repent of your sin, pray, invite the Holy Spirit to meet with you, read a good Christian book on the gospel, sing, and journal what God reveals to you. It is good to remind yourself of who you would be and what your life would be like had Jesus not saved you. It would also be beneficial to remind yourself of the evidences of God’s grace you have witnessed in your own life, family, and ministry because of Jesus’ death and resurrection.

Personally, I like to think of those people who have shed tears over sin they have committed and sins that have been committed against them and picture Jesus wiping every tear from their eye on the other side of resurrection as Scripture promises. I like to think of those people I know who are disabled one day being free to run and leap for joy on the other side of the resurrection. And I remember the deceased whom I love and I look forward to seeing them again on the day when we rise together to walk into the kingdom that never ends.

Take a deep breath and read that last paragraph again, and then exhale in the relief and joy of knowing that our Savior lives!

The Power of the Cross

2010-03-29T15:07:00.000-06:00

I just re-watched this excerpt from Peter Kuzmic's message at our 2008 Peacemaker Conference. It is so powerful because it speaks of Christ's power ... do yourself a favor and remind yourself this week of the many ways the power of the cross and resurrection are displayed in our lives and in our world.

The Gospel: Breaking Down the Walls of Hostility from Peacemaker Ministries on Vimeo.

The Ten Commandments and Heart Idolatry

2010-03-28T21:46:00.002-06:00

From our lesson in the How People Change Sunday School class today (emphases mine):

The Ten Commandments may not be where you would expect to find this emphasis on the centrality of the heart, but it is there if you look carefully. The first three commands focus on what or whom you worship. They are a condemnation of making anything besides God your god! The order of the commands is important because our real problem is not our circumstances but our tendency towards idolatry. We have problems obeying commands four through ten because we have already broken commands one through three.

Consider the Israelites' situation. Their journey to the Promised Land was filled with trials, temptations, enemies, and suffering. And yet these realities were not of utmost importance to God. What was most significant to him was his peoples' heart devotion. He knew that the real war was being fought in the heart of every person who had been rescued from slavery in Egypt.

Look at the rest of the commandments. Why do you -- and others -- fail to keep them?
Make God central in your worship and work (fourth commandment)
Honor parents and those in authority (fifth commandment)
Love, serve and forgive others (sixth commandment)
Maintain sexual purity (seventh commandment)
Freely and joyfully share your resources with others (eighth commandment)
Speak truthfully in ways that help others (ninth commandment)
Rejoice in the blessings of others (tenth commandment)
The structure of the Ten Commandments teaches us that we fail to do these things because something is wrong inside us, not outside us. We wrap our hearts around something other than the living God and believe the lie that without that something, whatever it is, life is meaningless.

How People Change Workbook, 8.5-8.6

To laugh and to cry

2010-03-26T12:14:00.003-06:00

This post with all sorts of videos of cats and dogs eating mashed potatoes will make you laugh; this post, "The Contagious Comfort and Mercy of God," by a man with a special-needs son, will make you cry.

Love III, by George Herbert

2010-03-26T09:44:00.004-06:00

Thanks to Tish (hi, Tish!) for leaving this George Herbert poem in my "Reason Behind the Title" post (in case you didn't know, "Brittle Crazy Glass" is from a George Herbert poem). Also, it's a great poem as we look ahead to Easter next weekend!

LOVE (III)

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack'd anything.

"A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";
Love said, "You shall be he."
"I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,
I cannot look on thee."
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
"Who made the eyes but I?"

"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve."
"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
"My dear, then I will serve."
"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."
So I did sit and eat.

Wind in My Sails

2010-03-24T13:21:00.002-06:00

This entire post is from Chris Brauns' book Unpacking Forgiveness, pages 30-31. I took note of it this morning because as I was flipping through the book, I realized that I'd underlined most of this section, so I think it's worth sharing:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

Just for a moment now, block out all your concerns about whatever fight you may face at hone or at church or in the world. Consider Christ even more deeply. Even as I have reminded you that he is the Wonderful Counselor and Almighty God, notice that when Jesus invites you to come to him, he describes himself as 'gentle and lowly in heart.' Though he is supremely exalted, Christ is not a vindictive taskmaster who would rub your face in your mistakes and beat you down over your failures. Such a combination isn't possible in the Savior of the Bible! he stands ready to help. He is gentle and humble in heart. Why would you not accept his invitation to unload the weight of your burdens?

But wait. Before you accept Jesus' offer to find rest, read the invitation closely. Jesus does not invite worn-out people to take a nap. Nor does he suggest that if we will chant a one-time prayer, refreshment will be granted automatically. No; Jesus says to assume his yoke and learn from him. Jesus invites those who need rest to come work with him.

Jesus' offer of discovering rest by means of a yoke is a paradox. A yoke is a harness used for labor. You might legitimately ask, how in taking on Jesus' equipment would I find rest? The answer is, as we follow Jesus and learn from him, the Holy Spirit graciously operates in our lives. This is how we who are weak can move forward - not in our strength, but in his. This is the kind of thing that Paul pointed to in Philippians 2:12-13 when he said, 'Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." The reason Paul told the Philippians to work out their salvation with fear and trembling is that when they do, God will graciously work in and through them. God works in and through us as we cooperate with his gracious work in our lives.

A sailing illustration might help make this point. Suppose you are in a boat and you have to travel an incredible distance. And to further complicate things, you don't even know there is such a thing as sailing.

What would you do? You would try and propel the boat in all kinds of futile ways. You might lie on your stomach and paddle over the side. If you were a little more creative, you might use a stick as an oar and row in circles. But soon you would be worn-out and frustrated.

But then imagine that someone stepped onto your boat and said, 'I see that you are exhausted. How about I teach you how to get somewhere?' He would then show you how to raise a sail and catch the wine.

You get the picture. Sailing is still hard work. There is a reason that sailors like Popeye have big forearms. But it is not futile hard work. Hoist a sail into the breeze, and soon you are gliding forward in a strength that is beyond yourself.

Life

2010-03-22T08:44:00.002-06:00

I want to see this ... I haven't even seen all of "Planet Earth" (though I'm pretty sure my parents have it ... hopefully in BluRay), but this follow-up series looks similarly remarkable:

What is the Gospel?

2010-03-21T18:30:00.001-06:00

This is a stirring description of the gospel from John Calvin; shared by Challies yesterday:

Without the gospel everything is useless and vain; without the gospel we are not Christians; without the gospel all riches is poverty, all wisdom folly before God; strength is weakness, and all the justice of man is under the condemnation of God. But by the knowledge of the gospel we are made children of God, brothers of Jesus Christ, fellow townsmen with the saints, citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven, heirs of God with Jesus Christ, by whom the poor are made rich, the weak strong, the fools wise, the sinner justified, the desolate comforted, the doubting sure, and slaves free. It is the power of God for the salvation of all those who believe.

It follows that every good thing we could think or desire is to be found in this same Jesus Christ alone. For, he was sold, to buy us back; captive, to deliver us; condemned, to absolve us; he was made a curse for our blessing, sin offering for our righteousness; marred that we may be made fair; he died for our life; so that by him fury is made gentle, wrath appeased, darkness turned into light, fear reassured, despisal despised, debt canceled, labor lightened, sadness made merry, misfortune made fortunate, difficulty easy, disorder ordered, division united, ignominy ennobled, rebellion subjected, intimidation intimidated, ambush uncovered, assaults assailed, force forced back, combat combated, war warred against, vengeance avenged, torment tormented, damnation damned, the abyss sunk into the abyss, hell transfixed, death dead, mortality made immortal. In short, mercy has swallowed up all misery, and goodness all misfortune.

For all these things which were to be the weapons of the devil in his battle against us, and the sting of death to pierce us, are turned for us into exercises which we can turn to our profit. If we are able to boast with the apostle, saying, O hell, where is thy victory? O death, where is thy sting? it is because by the Spirit of Christ promised to the elect, we live no longer, but Christ lives in us; and we are by the same Spirit seated among those who are in heaven, so that for us the world is no more, even while our conversation [life] is in it; but we are content in all things, whether country, place, condition, clothing, meat, and all such things. And we are comforted in tribulation, joyful in sorrow, glorying under vituperation [verbal abuse], abounding in poverty, warmed in our nakedness, patient amongst evils, living in death.

This is what we should in short seek in the whole of Scripture: truly to know Jesus Christ, and the infinite riches that are comprised in him and are offered to us by him from God the Father.