Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Preacher Dyslexia

Thanks to Rebekah for brightening my day with this silliness:

So, I was reading this book by Roald Dahl, a children's author. And one of his books, The Vicar of Nibbleswicke, is about a vicar who has back-to-front dyslexia, he accidentally turns words around when he says them. Of course, he doesn't realize what he is doing. But anyways, when asked by a lady of the church about whether to sip or gulp communion wine, he replies, "Dear lady, you must never plug it! If everyone were to plug it the cup would be empty after about 4 goes and the rest of you wouldn't get any at all! What you must do is pis. Pis gently. All of you, all the way along the rail must pis, pis, pis. Do you understand what I mean?"

Then, the next day, Sunday, after the service he addresses the congregation about an issue he noticed. "Dear people, it is hardly my place as a newcomer to start making rules so early in my incumbency, but there is just one thing I feel I must mention. The road outside our little church is exceedingly narrow and, as you know, there is hardly room for two vehicles to pass each other. Therefore I feel it only right to ask members of the congregation not to krap all along the front of the church before the service. It is not only unsightly, but it is also dangerous. If you all krap at the same time all along the side of the road you could be hit by a passing car at any time. There is plenty of room for you to do this alongside the church on the south side if you feel you must."

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