2011

Wow, 2011 is over. Does anyone else remember the turn of the millennium like it was yesterday? Not to mention the 1990s? Wow.

While I was putting the Small Human to bed, I was reflecting a bit on 2011. Reflection time feels like a luxury to me these days, since when T is awake I'm chasing him down, and when he's asleep, I'm chasing down everything else that needs to get done. So, I did some reflecting, but only a little, and this is what I thought about.

In 2011, I didn't do all of the reading that I would have liked to have done. I have stacks of books that I finally resigned myself to not reading and moved them from my nightstand and coffee table to a bookshelf. I don't have a son who loves to be read to (he does, however, turn pages very proficiently and rapidly). I didn't read a chapter a day of Proverbs like I'd hoped. I didn't get in shape, even a tiny bit, despite a multitude of resources at my disposal. I didn't do the cool bike trail ride that I wanted to do with the family and, in fact, I only got Titus into our new bike trailer a few times. I failed miserably at tracking expenses and staying within budget. I often went to bed at night with a festering sink full of dirty dishes and was frustrated in the morning when my husband didn't do the dishes for me. I did manage to eliminate a few problem spots of long-term clutter, but it seems like 10 more have popped up in their place.

I did, however, learn to love being a mom. I've always hated being boxed in, but I learned to love the simple joy of a predictable routine, especially for a small one. I bought a pair of slippers so the constant crumbs on the floor wouldn't bother me so much. I delighted in watching Titus grow to love our dogs, whether he was feeding them Cheerios, grabbing at their leashes on a walk or just walking up and burying his head in their side. I am constantly amazed at how much I enjoy his smile, and I well up with gratitude that God has granted us the life circumstances to provide a child with love, stability, security and safety.

I did more sewing in 2011 than I had probably done since junior high, and I plan to do even more in 2012. I learned how to make a pretty decent latte, and I learned to work around my son's schedule and still have a social life by having friends over for coffee. I enjoyed growing deeper in several friendships, reconnecting in a few older friendships and even making new friends. One of my greatest weaknesses is relationships, and I am grateful that God gives me friends who don't give up on me, friends who teach me how to be a friend, and opportunities to be a friend to others. 2011 was a year in which God grew my heart for relationships, both within my family and without. I still have a long ways to go.

I explored gluten-free baking. I did read a couple of good books. I finally learned some of the strategy of the game of Scrabble and went from getting annihilated in "Words With Friends" to pretty much holding my own. I enjoyed the benefits of accountability and community in an inductive study of Romans ... and turned around and started right back in Romans 1 for an even more fruitful exploration of the book that will continue through May. I learned how to take some durn good portraits (if I do say so myself) of my little boy (until he got so busy that I can't catch many pictures of him in focus). I took a couple of steps of faith in terms of feeling nudges from God and following through. On a few occasions, I asked God to open my heart to ideas I opposed, and he responded by closing doors (to my relief).

I grew in a deeper appreciation of my own family and have immensely enjoyed watching my parents be grandparents. I grew in appreciation for my husband's family, both immediate and extended. I grew in appreciation for my husband as a relationship-maker-and-keeper -- especially on our spring road trip that began with my Grandpa Jack's funeral in Wyoming, where HH met many of my family for the first time and was well-liked by all, and carrying on to include stays in five different homes of friends and family and visits with many more. I grew in appreciation for taking the road-less-traveled, as we added hours-upon-hours to our travels on lesser-traveled highways that rewarded us with breathtaking scenery and tastes (both literal and metaphorical) of Americana.

We are now firmly entrenched in our habit of stopping at the Tasty Freeze in Big Timber on our way to the cabin (the number to order ahead is programmed into my phone, and I have the mile-marker figured out for when to make the call). Little T's first year of life brought him to Hawaii and Alaska, as well as Wyoming, Utah, Idaho and Oregon.

2011 was a good year for us. HH started working from home and after a few hiccups, we thrived being in such close contact (which has been true of our relationship since Day 1). 2012 will bring changes, some that we can anticipate, some that we can't. It may well turn out to be a challenging year. I should work on some goals -- books to read, disciplines to pursue, ways I'd like to grow as an individual, as a wife and mom, and as a member of my community. And then, no doubt, I'll fall short of many of those goals and hopefully find myself growing in unexpected places. I'll get to that eventually. In the meantime, I'm grateful that amidst my failings from 2011, God was merciful, God was kind, and we have much for which to be grateful.

UPDATE: 2011 should definitely be remembered as the year that HH and I began perfecting our "signature" pork taco recipe and hosting "Taco Domingo," as well as the year I hit upon Pioneer Woman's Restaurant-Style salsa recipe and have had it in our fridge nonstop since.

Precious Gift

This is Zane.


"Zane" means "Gift from God."


Zane was born on September 21 at 32 weeks, weighing a mere 3 lbs 7 oz. I can't even imagine a baby so tiny.
.

Today he weighs a healthy 8+ lbs and is 14 weeks old.


He is God's gift to my cousin and her husband through adoption
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What a joy it was at Christmas to celebrate this gift as well as the One who at Christmas showed himself to be both Gift and Giver.

"The Theme of My Song," part 3

On Tuesday I posted part 1; yesterday I posted part 2, and here is the conclusion. I did have three other people share the "theme of their song" in between parts 2 and 3, but I don't have their talks. The challenge for you (and for the brunch attendees) is to not just let it be the theme of MY song, but to ask yourself, "What is the theme of my song?" Where do I see God at work with a consistent message of love, mercy or grace in my own life?

***

We are right at the beginning of the Christmas season, and the songs that we sing during this time are a virtual goldmine for themes of God’s character and his saving grace. Think of the Christmas carols that we love – don’t they all bring a message of joy and hope and peace? “Joy to the world! The Lord has come!” Or, “Tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy.”

What I’d like to do now is to invite you to contemplate what is the “theme of your song.” Maybe one springs to mind right away, or maybe your brain is now racing or freezing up. But I’m not leaving you on your own; if you look in the middle of your program for this morning, you’ll find a page that says “The Theme of My Song” at the top (see below for blog readers). Would you to take a few minutes and look that over… and contemplate a line or two that particularly resonate with you. Why is that? Or, if you have another Christmas carol that you particularly love, why do you love it?

I know this: God IS at work in your life, in his endless love and mercy. Do you hear the theme of your song? How will you sing along?

“O Come, O Come Emmanuel”

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

“God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”

God rest ye merry, gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember, Christ, our Saviour
Was born on Christmas day
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy

“The First Noel”

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!
“Joy to the World”
He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

“O Come All Ye Faithful”

Yea! Lord, we greet Thee,
Born this happy morning,
O Jesus! For evermore be Thy name adored.
Word of the Father, now in flesh appearing;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us adore Him,
Christ the Lord.

“Silent Night”

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth

"The Theme of My Song," part 2

Yesterday, I posted part 1 of my talk. Here's part 2. Tomorrow, I'll post the conclusion.

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First, let me share with you the “theme of my song,” at least for this particular season in my life. The title for my talk actually comes straight from an old hymn that begins, “Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song, the joy of my heart and the boast of my tongue. Thy free grace alone from the first to the last, hath won my affections, and bound my soul fast.”

So there it is, “Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song.”

The introductory notes of this theme for me – the “da-da-da-DA,” if you will – was hearing a pastor named Dave Harvey speak on the topic of “God’s Mercy and My Marriage.” This talk has perhaps been the single most influential thing in our marriage, and it’s because Pastor Harvey drew out how greatly God has been merciful to us and how that impacts our relationships.

“Mercy.” It feels like one of those words from the Bible that we intuitively might know what it means, but we would have trouble actually verbalizing a definition of it. So here’s a dictionary definition: “Mercy is a quality fundamental to God’s interaction with humankind. In the English Bible, the noun signifies concrete expressions of compassion and love… The primary Hebrew term for mercy refers to the love, compassion and kindness upon which God’s covenant with Israel was founded. The experience of God’s people was that his mercy revealed in historical acts of redemption (especially Christ’s death on the cross) was … inexhaustible.” (from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology).

We see the mercies of God in the story of the Old Testament Israelites … they were in a nonstop cycle of sin and rebellion, followed by a period of repentance and obedience. Things would be going well and they would forget God and sink more and more deeply into a mess of their own making. Then they would remember, “Hey, we have this God whose name is The Merciful One, and they would call out to him, and – totally out of his mercy and not at all out of their deserving – come to them and rescue them and restore them to himself and to each other and to their land … and then they would forget him and the cycle would continue. But God doesn’t change and that’s why the prophet Jeremiah, in the middle of one of Israel’s big messes, could say “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning.”

In the New Testament, mercy is embodied in Christ. We see mercy in the simple acts of how he responded to people who were living messy lives, or who were just hurting. He was tender and compassionate to the greedy old tax collector and to the sick little child. He was also tender and compassionate to his bumbling, selfish, flighty disciples … which a lot of the time sounds a lot like me. He helped them grow and change, but – unlike us when our friends or spouse or kids are self-centered or rude – he didn’t lecture them, but was kind. His ultimate act of mercy – the mercy of all mercies – was his death on the cross. Coming down from a perfectly blissful life in heaven, rescuing us out of a mess of our own making.

How much of God’s mercy do you actually experience day to day? We all have no idea! You experience God’s mercy every day when you are not crushed under the weight of your sin. Then again, you experience God’s mercy when you are weighed down by your sin, as it is his kindness bringing you to repentance. God in his mercy gives you friends to share our joys and friends to help bear your sorrows. You experience his mercy when you have rich food and rich fellowship, like this morning, that remind you of his abundance; you experience his mercy when you are hungry and alone, as he is calling you to find your fullness in him. It is his mercy when you pray and know that he is listening, because in his mercy, he has covenanted love and goodness toward you.

I experience God’s mercy when I am snippy with my husband and he shows what Dave Harvey calls “mercy in kindness” and still does the dishes for me while I am putting Titus to bed. It’s because of God’s mercy that when we went to bed angry with each other the other night, we were able to forgive one another before falling asleep.

The more my eyes are open to it, the more I see God’s mercy in every moment. Another stanza in the song I opened with says, “Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart/ Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart / Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground / And weep to the praise of the mercy I’ve found.”

"The Theme of My Song," part 1

I had the privilege of sharing the message at my church's annual Christmas Ladies' Brunch this last Saturday. I was blown away when many people -- some of whom I barely know -- told me that they had been praying for my message. That they would think to pray for me, that they care so much about our church and this outreach, and that they were faithful to actually follow through and pray ... I was humbled and convicted to follow more in their example.

Here is the first part of my talk; I'll share part 2 tomorrow.

*************

As I was preparing to share with you all today, I was reminded of how last year, at this time, at the ladies brunch, I was a week overdue with my little Titus. That was Saturday; on Wednesday, I had a healthy baby boy in my hands, a boy who just this week started walking. It’s amazing how much can change in a year … in a week … in a day. Joys and hardships – so much can change so quickly, and I know that many of you also know that from experience. A year from now, or even next Wednesday, there’s no telling what any of our lives may look like. But on Wednesday, next year, ten years from now, we know one thing will be true, and that is God’s love for us. It’s the only thing we can bank on, and so my prayer for us this morning is that – whether this is your first time through the doors of this church or whether you were here when the doors of this church opened, we will all come to understand even a little bit more how great is God’s love for us. And not just to understand, but to embrace our Father and his love.

[Prayer – Oh Lord, thank you so much for your love that is so high and wide and deep that we can never comprehend it, and we’ll never exhaust it. Please, give us grace now to understand, to grasp, to embrace even a tiny bit more of your love for us today. For me, Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Oh Lord my rock and my redeemer.]

I’d like to start off now with a little game of “name that tune.” Now, the big caveat here is that I am not a musical person at all, and I realize that in this crowd are many musical giants. So I do this with a degree of fear and trepidation, but I think it can work. We’ll give it a try, anyway, so shout it out if you can name that tune (and please don’t leave me hanging!): (Beethoven’s 5th – first 4 notes). Now try this one: (Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star/Alphabet song). And, this one’s for the 30-something set: (Vanilla Ice – Ice, Ice Baby).

What is it that makes those songs so recognizable? I think one of the main reasons is that in all three of those songs, the same few notes are repeated over and over – in slightly different ways, in different combinations ranging from the simple to the complex, mellow or dramatic, but they are woven throughout the piece in such a way that an experienced ear can pick them out immediately.

Wikipedia (I know, not the BEST source of information, but bear with me) says about Beethoven’s 5th and the use of these four notes (da-da-da-DA), which I learned is called a motif: “The main ideas are introduced in the first few pages [and] undergo elaborate development through many keys, with a dramatic return to the opening section—the recapitulation—about three-quarters of the way through. It starts out with two dramatic fortissimo phrases, the famous motif, commanding the listener's attention. Following the first four bars, Beethoven uses imitations and sequences to expand the theme, these pithy imitations tumbling over each other with such rhythmic regularity that they appear to form a single, flowing melody...” And the article goes on.

If you’re like me, a fair amount of that might have gone over your head with all the technical terms, but the point is that Beethoven uses those four notes – and other motifs — masterfully, in all sorts of different ways, throughout his symphony.

Now, the Bible is a lot like a symphony in written form. We start with creation (da-da-da-DA) and from then on, different themes and motifs are introduced and reworked and sometimes one theme rises more to the surface, and sometimes it’s really complex so you have to listen carefully to hear those familiar notes, but they’re there, and God is weaving them together into this beautiful piece of music that we can listen to over and over without tiring of it.

I have a cousin whose boys go to a specialized Montessori school in Arizona. The other day, the seven year old heard a classical song on the radio and asked his mom, “What’s this guy’s name again? Oh yeah, Vivaldi. He did a great job on this song.” If I may be so bold, God did a great job on his song, too.

I said a few seconds ago that in both the symphony and Scripture, sometimes it takes a more experienced ear to pick out the themes when the surrounding notes are louder and more complex. Several years ago, I began to notice as I listened to people speak, or as I had a helpful conversation with someone, that some people seemed to have a consistent theme woven throughout what they said. Like a musical theme, it fit beautifully with whatever was happening in the world around them, but that one theme resonated so deeply in their hearts, this was the theme that arose frequently in their conversations about life and about God.

One example is that when I was in seminary, I took several classes from Ed Welch, and I noticed that the theme of the wilderness kept popping up. The Israelites in the Old Testament spent 40 years wandering in the desert. Welch seemed to connect deeply with the experience of the Israelites during this “in between” time – they had been rescued from slavery but were not even close to experiencing this Promised Land that was going to be flowing with milk and honey … they were suffering, waiting, feeling empty, thirsty. And so, no matter if Welch was talking about the experience of addiction, or depression, or fear, he would hear in the music, so to speak, the same notes of how it felt, and of how God works, and he would weave together the Israelites’ experience with his own.

When I moved back to Billings, I spent a lot of time in conversation with Amy P and noticed that she had a consistent “theme to her song,” and I saw it elsewhere as well. So I’ve asked Amy, along with Pastor Alfred and Jan B to share with you about the “theme of their song.”

But more on that in a moment, first, let me share with you the "theme of my song" … (To be continued)

He walks with me and talks with me...

Well, this video is just him walking. This was yesterday; he's doing even better today.

Mercy

Read this in preparation for a talk I'm giving next Saturday, from the New Dictionary of Biblical Theology's definition of mercy:

Mercy is a quality fundamental to God's interaction with humankind. In the English Bible, the noun signifies concrete expressions of compassion and love. Verbal phrases such as 'to be merciful', 'to have mercy on' or 'to show mercy towards' underline further the active and volitional character of mercy. The adjective 'merciful' denotes a quality of God and a requirement of his people. The primary Hebrew term for mercy is hesed, which refers to the love, compassion and kindness upon which God's covenant with Israel was founded...

Mercy is a quality intrinsic to the divine disposition. It is so essential that in some situations the adjective 'merciful' alone could be used to refer to God (Ps. 116:5). The experience of God's people was that his mercy revealed in historical acts of redemption was, unlike human mercy, inexhaustible (Lam. 3:22; 2 Sam. 24:14)...

Chicken with Lemon and Sage

This is a Jamie Oliver recipe, originally titled "Chicken in Milk," and while that is technically accurate, it's not particularly an appetizing name. When I brought this to a family with four kids for dinner last night, I decided to rename it "Chicken with Lemon and Sage." PS - I love sage.

The Jamie Oliver recipe is for roasting a whole chicken. I like eating Costco rotisserie chickens (delicious and ridiculously cheap!), and I like making chicken stock out of the chicken carcass, but I don't really care for roasting my own chicken and getting enough chicken off of the bones to feed a crowd. So I used a package of boneless, skinless chicken thighs. In this case, I think thighs work much better than breasts because the dark meat stays moist during roasting and the fat adds more flavor.

I thought this turned out really, really well. I've done this recipe once before, with a whole chicken, but I think I actually liked this better. Bonus: it was faster, easier and cheaper.

Try it; I think you'll like it. (And consider doing a butternut squash risotto as a side - the sage in both dishes means that they pair well, and if you do the risotto with short-grain brown rice, it's really healthy and hearty!)

Chicken with Lemon and Sage
adapted from Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk

Ingredients:

5 lbs chicken thighs, boneless and skinless
2 T butter + 2 T olive oil
salt and freshly ground pepper
zest of 2 lemons
1 1/2 teaspoons rubbed sage
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1/2 cinnamon stick
2 cups whole milk (I used 1/2 cup half-and-half and 1 1/2 cups skim milk)

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

Heat the butter and olive oil on the stovetop over medium-high in a dutch oven (or a moderately deep pan that can also go in the oven). Pat dry the chicken thighs and generously season with salt and pepper. Drop the chicken thighs into the pan and brown them well on both sides. Remove the chicken to a plate and dump out the oil/butter, but do not scrape out the browned bits on the bottom (you'll want these to flavor the sauce that the chicken bakes in).

Add the chicken back to the pan and nestle the cinnamon stick into the middle of the chicken. Sprinkle the chicken thighs with sage, garlic and lemon zest, and then pour the milk over the chicken. Place in the oven and bake for around an hour, basting the chicken with the milk mixture every 10 minutes or so.

Jamie Oliver recommends serving this with mashed potatoes so that you can spoon the milky sauce (which will have probably formed some curds because that is what lemon/acid does to milk) over the potatoes. We just spooned it over the chicken and, as I said above, ate it with a side of salad and butternut squash risotto.

11 Months

11 months old and already a little Jedi. We are predictably proud.

In all seriousness, being his parents is amazing. We love him more than we thought was possible. He is endlessly interesting and entertaining. His smile lights up a room. He popped eight teeth in the last month with nary a complaint (until the last few days). He loves to crawl around the room with matching things in his hands (e.g. a pair of shoes - one shoe in each hand). He can tell you what an elephant says, he growls all the time, he loves Baby Einstein and his real life dogs, and he gives high fives. He loves marinated mozarella cheese balls, chicken, oatmeal and bananas.

He's sleeping right now, but I can't wait for him to wake up in the morning so I can start another day of being his momma.

Memorable

I was reminded today how very unmemorable I was in high school -- I bumped into someone I would have considered an acquaintance back then, and he looked at me today with faint recognition in his eye and asked, "Sarah, right?"

I laughed and told him my real name and he was appropriately flustered, so I tried to mitigate his embarrassment by remarking about how very long ago that was (13 years! How is that possible!). I didn't say (but could have), "Also, you were on the fringe of the cool crowd, and I was decidedly not."

I'm so glad high school's over. I'm so glad the rules of social interaction have relaxed and "cool" or "not cool" no longer defines us. I envy the high school kids that I know now who defy those categorizations and have discovered the secret that your identity can be secure regardless of the opinions of your peer group, and that "the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" (Gal. 5:6).

It took me a long time to figure that out, and I'm still figuring it out. It's true, though: while many from high school may only vaguely remember me, God says, "I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands" (Isa. 49:15b-16a).