This is what Dave Harvey describes as an "ironic biblical tension:"
"We are called to be merciful and withhold judgment. But we are also called to challenge one another -- to correct, exhort, and speak truth to the one we love (Hebrews 3:12-13). This can seem like a paradox, even an apparent contradiction inour call. But it's not. On the contrary, God has set us in our [relationship], at this time, with this person so that we can perform the extraordinary task of ministry. We can fulfill the call of reconciliation -- turning a wandering believer back to the God who saves. We can love by bringing truth in gracious ways; applying grace through speaking the truth. When we do this ministyr, we not only fulfill the role of Nathan, we represent our Lord Jesus Christ, who came and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth (John 1:14)."
Dave Harvey, When Sinners Say I Do, page 120