Conflict Resolution Lyrics

My mom's been bugging me because my last post is clearly intended for 10 days ago. So, since I haven't had time to sit down and write some real thoughts that are brewing in my head, I substitute the lyrics of a song called "Malcom," which I recently heard on internet radio (it's really catchy, by the way, so the chorus got stuck in my head after I heard it). As a "peacemaker," my ears are particularly tuned into "conflict resolution" proposals, even if they're ultimately the wrong way to respond to conflict.

Billy solve his problems with by calling up his mom
Heather solves her problems with drugs and alcohol
Daniel solves his problems with a doctor and the law
But Malcolm’s got his own way, it’s better than them all

’cause malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
And he never has the same problem twice

Whether it’s a bill or a cheque arriving late
Rancid marble cheese or a steak that’s second rate
Awful tv programs or a broken elvis plate
Or his fiancée who dumps him because he’s gaining weight

Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
Malcolm solves his problems with a chain-saw
And he never has the same problem twice

And he goes vrrrrrmmm vrrrrrmmm
Problem solved!

by the Arrogant Worms