I never get used to the moment by moment miracle of prayer. It's an amazing thing that God would ever even once listen to me, let alone answer! In little moments and big, again and again, I choose my own kingdom over his. I often run to him for help for messes that in my foolishness and rebellion I've made. I've no righteousness to present as an argument that he should hear me. I've no autonomous wisdom that I can present as a reason for his attention. I've no independent track record of good deeds that would get his attention. I've often been more fickle than loyal. I often justify my sin rather than seek his forgiveness. I struggle with being more attracted to the temporary pleasures of this physical world than I am committed to godly living. The desires of my heart wander again and again. I forget my identity as his child, and in my amnesia seek identity where it was never meant to be found. Again and again I contradict the theology that I say I believe with the way that I live. I sadly have to ask for his forgiveness for the same things over and over again. Undeserving is the way I always stand before him.
All of this is true of me except for the first sentence: I too often take for granted the miracle of prayer. May I be renewed in my amazement that God listens to undeserving-me because of his unending love and faithfulness.
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