Saturday, August 23, 2008

Finishing a Journal

I realized this morning that I was only a few pages from finishing up my current journal. Now, I'm not a consistent journaler, maybe every 3-6 months, depending on my situation, so I've been writing in the same book since January 2005.

I flipped back through a couple of pages as I closed it up today -- so interesting to note the highlights that I'd written about: my last semester of seminary, moving into my house, getting going at my job, travels, griefs, joys, frustrations, questions, starting blogging (!). And I sort of saw it all coming; here's the first page's entry:
"Welcome to 2005! I figured I'd start off the new year with a new journal. I started the old one years ago; I wonder how long it will take me to make it through this one. How many tears will stain its pages? How many words will not be able to express some joy in my heart? How many foolish mistakes will be recorded? And all the while, it will continue to be a record of God's faithfulness in my life."
All of the above are true. I tend to journal more when I'm feeling angsty, so there are lots of tears, but also lots of joys. I think I recorded less foolish mistakes in this journal than in the last one; I also rejoice that my attitude toward them and my quickness to pursue God has improved from that era (roughly college and early seminary) to this one.

And, yes, it is a record of God's faithfulness in my life, in both the highs and the lows. I was meditating on Psalm 40 this morning, and the closing words of my journal entry today were the words of verse 11:

"As for you, O Lord, you will not restrain your mercy from me;
Your steadfast love and faithfulness will ever preserve me!"

1 comment:

Susan said...

How nice that you are just in time to start a new journal as you start a new phase of life -- or maybe I should reword that since marriage is not a phase! -- As you start the "rest of your life."