Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Need for Self-Control in Marriage

I've had a lot of things I've intended to blog for the last month, plus, but I just haven't worked up the initiative to make it happen. I hope to get more consistent again now that I seem to have survived the worst of my morning sickness and am starting to enter the land of the living again.

To reintroduce myself to you, I'll quote some Paul Tripp. I've really been enjoying his book What Did You Expect: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.

Here's a quote I particularly appreciated (I won't say 'enjoyed' because enjoyment doesn't really seem to connote any elements of conviction, does it?):
Serving in love means being committed to the daily exercise of self-control. A good marriage is always the result of saying no, not to the other person but to yourself. If you want to damage your marriage, go wherever your desires and emotions lead you. In heated moments of disagreement, in painful moments of disappointment, and in disheartening moments of hurt, you will be tempted to do and say things that are not only wrong but will also add to the trouble you are already experiencing. Disagreement is hard, but it does not have to degenerate into personal war. Disappointment is hard, but it does not have to give way to personal attack. It is painful when you have been hurt, but to lash back is never a step toward reconciliation. There may be no more needed character quality in marriage than self-control. It is the constant willingness to critique your thoughts, edit your words, and restrain your behavior out of love for your spouse and love for what is right. Self-control means you simply won't give yourself permission to get down and dirty. You will take the time that you need to be in a place where you can speak and act with love, wisdom, grace, and gentleness, and be committed to unity, understanding, and peace. What Did You Expect, 126.

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